Product review: Feeldoe by Tantus

The FeeldoeThe Feeldoe is one of the weirder looking toys in my toybox.  It resembles what I imagine a boomerang made out of a cock would look like.  But the value of the Feeldoe goes far beyond it’s appearance, and it’s a surprising and versatile toy.

The Feeldoe is Tantus’s patented “strapless strap-on”.  The idea is that a person with a vagina can insert the short bulb end into their vagina and hold it in place with their pelvic floor muscles.  They then have a cock that they can use to penetrate their partner without having to fiddle with harnesses.  I loved the idea of a strapless strap-on, because although I don’t mind wearing a harness for strap-on play, there was something very intimate about the idea of not needing one, of being able to be completely naked while still wearing a strap-on.  Another reason that I was drawn to this toy is that I felt it would solve the issue I have with the lack of biofeedback during strap-on sex.  See, when you’re having sex with a strap on, you don’t have the same level of sensation as you would if the toy were actually a part of your body.  And so I thought that having a portion of the toy inside me would make it a more pleasurable experience.

After a few tries to use the Feeldoe for it’s intended purpose, I was ready to give up.  As a strapless strap-on, I feel that the Feeldoe fails woefully for a couple of reasons.  Firstly, once the toy is inserted, it juts out at a strange angle from my body.  The stem that holds the bulb end onto the toy is very flexible and the dildo is quite heavy, which causes the cock to bob about wildly when you move.  It makes it difficult to penetrate your partner, to thrust or change positions during sex because the whole unit just feels wobbly and insecure. In order to give the toy some stability, I have to stand with my thighs squeezed together to hold it in place.  Not only is this not a very sexy position, but it is damn hard to thrust when you’ve got your legs held tightly against each other.  I’m afraid that my partner will think I need to pee, or am indulging in a mid-coital Time Warp break.

The other reason the Feeldoe doesn’t work well for me is that it just doesn’t want to stay in position.  See, the funny thing about vaginas is that when they get aroused, they become wetter, more slippery and more open.  And those three factors are disastrous when you’re trying to hold a slick silicone bulb inside yourself while pleasing a partner.  I’m convinced that Xena is the only woman with kegel muscles strong enough to hold this toy in place long enough to fuck her partner with it.  The only way this toy really stays in place is if the person wearing it is lying or sitting and the partner who is being penetrated mounts them.  Which is very fun, but somewhat limiting if you can only use it in certain positions.

On their website, Tantus suggest using a harness with this toy if you have trouble keeping it in place or if you want more support.  Which is fine, but entirely defeats the purpose of a strapless strap on.

So as a strapless strap-on, the Feeldoe really missed the mark for me.  But that doesn’t mean that it’s a bad toy at all!  In fact, I think it’s an amazing toy with several very versatile uses.

Firstly, as a regular dildo it freaking rules.  It’s a nice, firm silicone, it’s got a lovely curve and the pronounced head is wonderful for g-spot play.  It’s also safe for anal play, and the super smooth texture makes it great for going in the back door. It’s also not terribly thick, but nice and long which makes for a very satisfying anal experience if you’re exploring depth rather than width.

The most surprising use for this toy came to me while I was reading this comic by Shelby Criswell for Oh Joy Sex Toy.  In the comic, the author talks about how the Feeldoe opened up a world of masturbation for him by allowing him to masturbate with a penis that feels like it’s part of his body.  When I read that, I had to give this a try.  Now, I’ve never fantasised about having a penis, and I don’t have any kind of dysphoria around my genitals so I can’t speak about those experiences.  But what I can tell you is that the Feeldoe is an amazing masturbatory tool for people with vaginas.  Once the bulb end is inserted, you can jerk the dildo end as though you were masturbating a penis.  The inserted bulb provides internal stimulation on the g-spot and the ridges on the inner shaft generate friction and pressure against the clitoris.  The result is an explosive orgasm that was different to any I’ve had before.  It was a bit of a mind-fuck to be jerking off with a penis, but it was a seriously hot experience.

I definitely recommend the Feeldoe for anyone who has dreamed of having a penis, or for trans men who are finding it difficult to navigate masturbation with a vagina.  I can see the Feeldoe being an incredible tool for healing and empowerment for people who have felt dysphoria around their vagina by offering the opportunity to feel like you’ve got a penis of your own, and derive pleasure from that experience.  If you’re looking for a more realistic version, Tantus also make the Reeldoe, which is a flesh-toned Feeldoe with life-like features (although sadly, it only comes in one shade).

The Feeldoe also features a cavity at the bottom of the toy which can fit a vibrating bullet.  I never use this because the vibrations don’t carry well through the toy and it just gives me the feeling of an itch I can’t scratch.

The Feeldoe is made of glossy, firm silicone which feels super smooth and is easy to clean. It also comes in a variety of different shapes and sizes, including the Feeldoe More, the Feeldoe Slim and the Feeldoe Stout.  Each version comes in only one colour, which is a bit of a bummer but I do love the royal purple hue of my Feeldoe.

It’s difficult for me to give a definitive ruling on the Feeldoe.  For it’s intended purpose as a strapless strap-on, it misses the mark by a mile.  But as a stand-alone dildo it’s excellent.  Best of all, I feel like it’s a really unique toy that offers the opportunity for people with vaginas to experience masturbating with a penis.  The Feeldoe is a toy that opens the door to pleasure for trans men who have felt uncomfortable or dysphoric touching their genitals and I think it has the potential to be a tool for healing and exploration, which is an excellent thing.

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The Christmas gift that never came.

When you were a kid, was there ever something that you wanted for Christmas that you never, ever received?  Sure there was!  Practically everyone I know has a similar tale of missing out on that ONE THING that they really, really wanted for Christmas.   It seems to be a common thread that runs through most childhoods: the constant requests, numerous appearances on wishlists and endless begging to department store Santas that yielded disappointing results.

 

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For me, that elusive gift was a trampoline.  I asked for a trampoline every Christmas from the time I was four years old until I was fourteen.  For ten years I diligently added it to my Christmas list.  When I was tiny, that involved cutting a picture of a trampoline out of a toy catalog and pasting it to a collage of My Little Ponies and Ninja Turtles paraphernalia.  As I got older, I would labour away, tongue poking out the side of my mouth as I struggled to spell “trampoline”.  I even remember getting out Dad’s enormous hard-cover dictionary to make sure that I got the spelling exactly right so that there could be no mistake as to what I was asking for.

 

Despite my constant requests, I never got a trampoline.  I had to settle for bouncing on the one in my best friend’s backyard every second weekend when I would sleep over at her place.  But as awesome as that was, it never measured up to the hope of owning my very own trampoline.  I harbored dreams of spending the hours after school in a semi-suspended state of bouncing bliss.  I imagined how skilled I could become at flips and somersaults if I only had the means to practice them on a daily basis.  And I also thought that the trampoline would be a bitchin’ place to sleep on hot summer nights.

 

Now, I should point out that my parents had a pretty good reason for not buying me a trampoline.  Years earlier, my aunt had fractured her skull when she took a nasty spill on a trampoline.  Apparently she had similar hopes of mastering a mid-air somersault, but during her maiden attempt her knee violently kissed her forehead, shattering her skull.  Although my aunt recovered, all the adults in my family decided from that point on that none of the kids should own a trampoline lest the same thing happen to them. And considering the fact that every member of our family seems to have been bashed with the unco-stick, I’d say that was a pretty good decision.

 

So I never got a trampoline, and it took ten years before I gave up asking for one.

 

So now it’s over to you.  What was the one thing you always wanted but never got for Christmas?  How long did it take you to stop asking?

Truly Vintage Market at Hunter & Co Vintage.

On Saturday, I was lucky enough to attend the Truly Vintage vintage market day and Hunter & Co Vintage in Preston.  The event was organized by Trish of Trish Hunter Finds and Marianne of Esme and the Laneway.

I got up bright and early on Saturday, wrestled my hair into a set of victory rolls and jumped on the bus to Melbourne.  I was super excited about the prospect of snaffling some vintage bargains.  I was also hoping to meet some other awesome people who are as batty about vintage clothing as I am.

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Upon arriving in the city, I leaped onto the 86 tram and began my journey to Preston.  It was very nostalgic for me, as the 86 was the tram I used to take to and from the city when I first moved to Melbourne.  It’s been a long time since I was a poor uni student clattering along the tracks to catch the train home!  After a rattly journey I made it to Hunter & Co Vintage, ready to shop, smile and snap pictures.

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The shop is much bigger than I expected.  There are three rooms and and upstairs section to browse through.  I was overwhelmed by the beautiful items that were for sale.  There were so many things that I could have bought if I wasn’t travelling home on the train.  This typewriter, for example.  I’ve always wanted a red typewriter, and this one was gorgeous.

DSCF8206Plus, it was a Valentine, which was even sweeter.  If only I could have lugged her home on the train!

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In addition to the vintage furniture, homewares and clothing that Hunter & Co ordinarily stocks, a number of fantastic vintage bloggers had brought along items to sell.  There were a stupendous number of dresses, bags and jewellery to choose from.  I adored this little dresser which was covered in purses and goodies.

DSCF8208I took advantage of the mirror on the dresser to snap a picture of my own outfit.  It was dark when I left home, so I couldn’t take a proper outfit photo, and this was the only opportunity I had for a snap all day.  I wore my new red coat with pinstripe pants and oxfords.  I added a red snood in my hair.  Underneath my coat I’m wearing my Empire Records tee shirt.  I had to bring my Hello Kitty bag (a gift from Violet) because it’s one of the only bags I own that’s big enough to fit my camera into.

DSCF8209A suitcase full of handbags!  I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.

DSCF8210This kewpie-doll inspired mannequin had the raddest taste in hats and beads.

DSCF8211Whaddaya know?  Apparently Mad Men references are just inevitable at vintage events.  I was stoked to snap a picture of this Stirling Cooper dress label.

DSCF8213Not only was the shop filled with gorgeous vintage finds, but it was teeming with fashionable ladies all eager to have a chat and peddle their wares.  I met a bunch of fantastic vintage bloggers and shop owners.  It was so nice to chat to other people who are interested in vintage fashion and decor.  We didn’t just talk about vintage though!  I nattered about everything from train travel to interschool sports, from hat-hair to gift giving.  It was a great chance to catch up and socialise with some fantastic lasses.

DSCF8215I fell in love with this tea set.  It would certainly have come home with me if I hadn’t been relying on public transport to get home.

One of the most exciting parts of the day was meeting Marianne of Esme and the Laneway.  I’ve been following Marianne’s blog for years, but I’ve never had a chance to meet her in person.  She was absolutely lovely, and I was utterly mesmerised by her cotton-candy hair.

Other lovely ladies I met and chatted to include:

Trish of Trish Hunter Finds.  She was a total doll and let me pat her adorable pup Betty.  Everyone knows the way to win me over is to let me play with your pets!

Jess of Miss Fairchild’s Charm School: One of the cleverest ladies I’ve had the pleasure of chatting to in a very long time. She was wearing the most gorgeous hat too!

Teresa of Bess Georgette: So friendly and charming.  She made me feel very welcome and sold me a fantastic vintage hat (there will be pictures soon, I promise!)

Jacinta of Razzle Dazzle Rose Vintage: A perfectly coiffed lady with a fabulous selection of vintage underthings to sell.

Eszter of Kitty’s Drawings: Esz had set up a stall with samples of her work, a book full of patterns and a measuring tape.  She was taking orders for custom made vintage clothes at very reasonable prices.  If you want a vintage garment that fits you perfectly, she’s the lady to talk to.

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I wanted these cushions for my living room.  So fun and sunny!

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Big Ears egg cups!

DSCF8217Does anyone else remember these?  They were a set of transformers toys that came in McDonald’s Happy Meals about a hundred years ago.  I believe that Ross still has his, but the ones I had as a little girl are lost in the sands of time.

All in all, it was a brilliant day.  I came home with two Terry Pratchett books and a fabulous new hat.  I met loads of fantastic ladies and now I’ve got a stack of new blogs to follow.  Big thanks to Trish and Marianne for organizing such a great day.  I had a blast.