sex education

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Wand vibrators 101

I recently saw a Twitter conversation that shook me.  A blogger had posted a picture of their Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator and a commenter had written “How does that even work?  How are you meant to get that inside of you?”  It broke my heart that this poor reader hadn’t been educated in the way of wand vibrators, and I thought it was high time I did a little 101 class for anyone else who isn’t sure what wands are or how you’re supposed to use them.

What are wand vibrators?

Wand vibrators are a type of external vibrator. They typically feature a large head that vibrates and a long handle.  Wands are generally a quite powerful type of vibrator, many plug into the wall but there are rechargeable versions on the market.

What are they for?

Wands are used for external stimulation of the genitals.  You’re not supposed to insert a wand inside your body, they’re used to run over the outside parts of your genitals to wake them up and stimulate them.  Wands can be used during sex or for solo play.  A wand vibrator provides a more broad stimulation than say, a bullet vibrator.  Many people with clitorises find this type of vibration more pleasurable and find that they have stronger orgasms when they use a broader source of vibration.  And there’s a very good reason for this.  To find out why, we’re going to take a look at some clitoral anatomy.

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See, the clitoris is actually much larger than what most of us realise.  That little nub that perches atop the vulva is actually just the tip of a much larger collection of nerves.  The clitoris also has two long “legs”, which run down underneath the labia and inner thighs, wrapping around the entrance to the vagina.  This whole area is packed with nerve endings and is sensitive to pleasurable touch. The glans clitoris, that little pea-shaped button that most of us think of as the clit is the most sensitive part.

Wand vibrators provide a much broader surface of vibration, which stimulates the internal clitoris creating a fuller sensation.  Engaging this entire erogenous zone with a powerful vibrator can bring on bigger, more satisfying orgasms.  Some people with vulvas also find that pinpoint stimulation directly on the clitoris is too intense, and prefer the more broad-brush approach that a wand offers.

Who might enjoy using a wand?

Wands are perfect for anyone who wants to have a powerful orgasm, but finds direct clitoral stimulation too intense.  They also come with a range of attachments, so you can have the power of a wand with a variety of different sensations and shapes.

Even though I’ve talked mostly about the clitoris, wands aren’t only for people with vulvas.  Their simple shape make them very adaptable to be used on a range of body parts.  You could experiment using the wand on nipples, testicles, the perineum, labia and inner thighs.  In a pinch, they even work to ease sore muscles (as that was the original purpose of the iconic Hitachi Magic Wand).

Wands are also fantastic for BDsM play.  The long handle means that you can easily lash them to someone’s inner thigh or torso, pressing them up against the genitals for forced orgasm or tease and denial scenes.

I also recommend wands for people who have hand or wrist issues, or anyone who has trouble reaching comfortably to use a traditional bullet or smaller clitoral vibrator. The handle gives you plenty of extra reach so you can more easily access your genitals during solo play.  Many designs have curved handles that angle the toy towards your body, making it more ergonomic and easier to hold in place.

Which wands do you recommend?

There are several wand vibrators that I sing the praises of.  My all time favourite is the Medicil Magic wand (the same as the Hitachi). It’s mains powered, which is a little bit of a pain if you aren’t near an outlet but there is a rechargeable version. It’s very powerful and feels amazing.

I also enjoy the Tantus Rumble.  It’s not quite as powerful as some other wands, but it is feather light and easy to use.  Tantus also has a number of attachment heads for it to allow you to experience different sensations.

There are a couple of wands that I’ve not personally tried, but I’ve heard are great.  The Doxy Diecast is high on my wishlist for it’s rumbly power.  The Embrace Body Wand has an elegant shape and the handle also vibrates, meaning it doubles as an external vibrator.   I’ve also heard great things about the Lelo Smart Wand.

 

In summary, wand vibrators are perfect for powerful, broad surface stimulation for bigger orgasms.  They also solve some issues with grip and accessibility for folks who have hand or wrist complaints.  Wands are a very versatile, powerful toy that can be used in so many creative ways with exciting results.

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What on earth is “tenting”?

Today’s blog post is brought to you by reader questions, duoballs and the letter “V”

I received a question from a reader when I mentioned that I had a low-sitting cervix in this review of the OVO L1 Loveballs.  This awesome reader very astutely pointed out that if my cervix sits low at certain points in my cycle, then that would mean that my vagina is very shallow.  And they wanted to know how people with low-lying cervices can have penetrative sex if their vaginas are only a couple of inches long.  I was quite excited to get this question, because it has a really interesting answer and it’s also something that not a lot of people know about.

Before we jump into answering this reader’s question, let’s take a quick peek at some pelvic anatomy, shall we?

vagina diagram

Ok, so you can see in the diagram above the vaginal canal and the cervix that sits on top. The cervix is the opening of the uterus, the gateway between the uterus and the vagina.  Now, this bit’s really important: a lot of people think of the vagina as an open tube, like a length of pipe.  In actual fact, the vagina is really more like a deflated balloon, in that most of the time the walls are flattened down and compacted.  It’s not a tunnel, it’s more like a sleeve.  But this deflated shape isn’t permanent.  Just like a penis can go from soft to hard, the vaginal canal can go from narrow to wide, and this happens during a process called “tenting”.

 

Tenting is a pretty nifty process that happens as part of the sexual response cycle in people who have vaginas.  The sexual response cycle is basically the body’s reaction to sexual stimuli, getting turned on and preparing for intercourse.  Everyone’s sexual response cycle differs a bit but generally all people with vaginas go through the same steps.  And “tenting” is one of those stages.  In order to prepare for penetration, the walls of the vagina become slightly swollen which increases sensitivity and also opens the vaginal canal to make penetration easier.  The uterus begins to draw upwards, lengthening the vaginal canal to make more room for a penis or object of penetration.  This swelling and lengthening is called “tenting” because it’s like the vagina is opening up like a tent, ready for your partner to come inside.  So  people with penises aren’t the only ones who pitch a tent when they get aroused!

 

If you’ve got a vagina, it’s likely that you’ve experienced this aspect of the sexual response cycle.  Consider how it feels when you try to put something inside the vagina when you’re not really turned on.  It might be very dry and everything feels a bit tight and uncomfortable.  Now compare that to the way it feels when you’re super aroused and rearing to go.  It’s so much easier to accept penetration (whether that’s a penis, fingers or a toy) when you’re turned on and you’ve had a chance to get ready.  The vagina is much more receptive, it’s likely to be slicker from lubrication and it feels more pleasurable because blood rushing to the area increases sensitivity.  This comparison highlights the importance of knowing your body and taking your time when it comes to sex.  As I said, everyone’s body works at a it’s own pace, but it generally takes a minimum of twenty minutes for a person with a vagina to reach the peak of that preparation phase and be fully ready for penetration.

 

So now you see how having a lower-lying cervix isn’t a problem when it comes to penetrative sex.   The vagina is a very clever body part that does some amazing things, and the way it prepares for sexy times is only one of them.  All it needs is a bit of time, patience and foreplay to help it along.

 

Do you have a sex question you want answered?  You can shoot me an email or get in touch via one of my social media channels.