My BDsM aftercare kit

Aftercare is one of the lesser-known aspects of BDsM.  It refers to the kind of care or treatment that a person needs after a BDsM scene to help them to relax and come back down to earth.  BDsM can be an intense physical and emotional experience, and endorphins and adrenaline can run amok in your body during a scene.  Afterwards, your brain chemistry begins to return to normal which can be a jarring experience.  Aftercare is a way to ease yourself and your play partner back into reality to avoid a sudden drop.

Depending on the type of play that you’ve engaged in, aftercare may also involve first aid treatment, such as cleaning wounds, dressing bruises and tending to sore muscles.

The type of care each person requires after a BDsM scene will vary from person to person.  Some people require a lot of aftercare, some need little or none at all.  Some people want their partner to be involved in their aftercare, others prefer to be left alone.  While a lot of articles about aftercare focus on the needs of the submissive, it’s important to note that dominants or tops may also require aftercare when a scene has ended.

I’m a submissive, which means that I’m the person who is on the “bottom” during a scene.  I like to be dominated by my partner and enjoy serving Him.  I engage in a number of different types of play, including bondage, impact play, service submission and sensory deprivation.  I’m a monogamous BDsM player, which means that I play exclusively with one person, my Sir.  Currently my partner and I live far away from one another, so I regularly travel to be with him.

When I’m at home, I have all the things I need for my preferred aftercare routines at my fingertips.  However, if I’m away from home at my Sir’s house or a hotel or a party, I may not always have access to the things I need to help myself calm down after a scene is over.  So I came up with the idea of creating a small aftercare kit.  This kit is little enough to throw into my bag when I travel, and has a few vital items which myself or Sir can use to end a play session.  Want to take a look in my aftercare kit?  Here we go……

What’s in my Aftercare kit?

  1. Warm socks

It’s common to feel cold after a play session.  When you’re in the thick of a scene, adrenaline makes you less sensitive to temperature and you don’t always notice when you’re chilly.  Often, I play in the nude or in underwear, and even when the room is warm I feel chilled when the scene is over.  Plus, the rush of endorphins leaving your body can lead to shivers.  At home I like to have a warm blanket to cuddle up in, as well as some comfortable clothes to pull on.  I made these socks myself and they are super soft and keep my toes so warm.  They are really comforting to put on when I’m coming down after a play session.

2. Teabags

A steaming cup of tea can really help you to warm up if you’ve gotten chilly, as well as being comforting and relaxing.  I always make sure that I have a few varieties of tea, and enough teabags so that my Dom and I can enjoy a cup together.  There’s something very soothing about wrapping your hands around a hot mug of tea.  It’s also nice to have something to sip on while you debrief with your partner, discussing what aspects of play you enjoyed, any emotions that bubbled up, and things that pushed your boundaries.

3. Lollies and dried fruit

My blood sugar usually drops after an intense scene, and I can feel fuzzy-headed and vague when the adrenaline starts to drain away.  Having something sweet on hand like dried fruit or candy is great for a quick sugar hit.  I prefer these small packets which I can munch on right after I play, and then I will usually have a proper meal once I’ve calmed down.

4. Bubble Bath

Another great way to warm up after play is to take a relaxing bath.  The hot water also feels wonderful on sore muscles if you’ve been tied up for a while or if you’ve been paddled or spanked.  If I feel like being alone after a scene, my Sir will run me a bath and then leave me to soak for a while so that I can gather my thoughts and relax.  Or if I want company He can sit on the edge of the tub and chat to me while I wash.

5.  Lotion

Affectionate touch is a really important part of my aftercare. It helps me to relax, brings me back into my body and reassures me that I am loved and cherished.  Having a partner rub lotion over your sore spots or massage you after play is a wonderful way to relax.  It also fosters a great sense of connection between you and your partner and helps you both to unwind.

6. Scented candle

I find scent very soothing and it’s always nice to have something that smells lovely nearby.  I prefer sweet, fruity scents and this pomegranate candle in a tin is ideal.  I can light it while I’m bathing or while Sir and I are drinking our tea.

These are just a few essentials that I carry with me to ensure that I can get the aftercare I need when playtime is over.  Like I said, every person is different and aftercare needs vary widely.  But knowing what kind of care you like after a scene and preparing for that with a small kit of helpful items is a great way to make sure that you are able to relax after BDsM exploration and get the most our of your play.

What items do you think you’d put in your aftercare kit?

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The Soldier On Syndrome

I’ve been sick with the flu this week.  It crept up on me last Tuesday night, appearing as a tightness in my chest and a tickly cough.  By Wednesday morning I was aching all over and my cough had become a hacking, wheezing monster.  Even so, I stood in the shower on Wednesday morning, determined to soap away the sickness and head into work.

I had this mental tug-of-war going on.  One half of my mind was telling me “You are actually, properly sick.  You need to rest and get better.  And nobody in the office is going to thank you for coming in and spreading your disgusting germs around”.

But the other half was insistent that I should just toughen up and carry on.  I felt like even though I didn’t feel well, that it wasn’t right to take the day off when there was work to be done.  I felt selfish for even thinking about calling in sick and leaving my co-workers to pick up the slack.  This half of my mind was begging me to get dressed and soldier on with my responsibilities, regardless of how I was feeling.

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In the end, I listened to my body and phoned the office to let them know I wasn’t coming in.  But for the remainder of the day I had this lingering feeling of guilt that popped up in between bouts of coughing, uncontrollable shivering and feverish naps.

 

Now that I’m feeling somewhat better, I have to ask my self why it is that I feel bad for taking time off when I’m genuinely sick.  After a fair bit of consideration I’ve come up with several reasons.

 

Firstly, I’m worried that my co-workers won’t believe me or they’ll think that I’m faking it if I call in sick.  This is largely a silly worry because I’ve never heard anyone in my office suggest that a person is pretending to be ill to get a bonus day off. However, I’ve worked in other places where there has been scepticism when someone has taken a sick day.  And so I’m always anxious that my boss won’t believe me when I call to say that I’m not feeling well and I need a day to rest.

 

Secondly, I am concerned that taking a day off is selfish.  That by staying at home I’m shirking my responsibilities and being lazy.  This worry comes from a lifetime of living in a culture where self-care is seen as self-indulgence.  Where speaking up and saying “I need this” is seen as entitled behaviour and where admitting that you’re not up to the challenges of your normal day is seen as weak.

 

Thirdly, I’m very aware that we live in a world where we are surrounded by messages that tell us that being sick is merely a blip on the radar, a mere inconvenience that needs to be suppressed so that we can “get over it and get on with it”.  There are so many advertisements for medicines that don’t claim help us recover faster or feel better. Rather, these advertisements are all about getting you back on your feet so that you can soldier on with your myriad of daily responsibilities.  Rather than encouraging us to get well, the bottom line is that we should carry on regardless of how we are feeling, because how productive we are is far more important than the way we treat ourselves.

 

This mire of guilt, frustration and fear that I experience around taking a sick day needs to stop.  I recognise that it’s not good for me physically or mentally.  If you’re going through similar feelings, then it’s probably not good for you either.  Let’s take a moment to review some facts and set ourselves on solid ground.

 

If you are ill, you are allowed to take a day off to recover.  Heck, if you need to, take two days. Or an entire week if that’s what you truly need.   Sick leave exists for this very purpose.  If you work with other people, then going into work when you’re ill puts everyone else at risk of catching whatever you have.  And if you work in the customer service industry then you’re exposing your customers to your lurgy as well. Nobody wants their coffee served by someone who is snuffling all over the place.

 

Admittedly, this is a lot harder if you are self-employed.  When there is nobody to cover for you, and no sick pay to cushion the blow, taking a sick day can feel a lot more detrimental.  But honestly, if you aren’t well, you aren’t going to be doing your best work. It makes professional sense to take the time to get well and jump back in when you are well again.

 

Stepping away from work if you are ill isn’t selfish.  Not only will you be preventing your co-workers and customers from getting ill, but you’ll be ensuring that you aren’t at the office doing sub-par work and making mistakes because you feel lousy.  It isn’t self-indulgent to rest when you are unwell.  It is if you take a sick day when you aren’t actually sick and you just don’t want to tear yourself away from your Netflix binge.

 

Be kind to yourself and listen to what your body is telling you.  Often, we get sick because we haven’t taken care of ourselves as well as we could.  Illness can be your body’s way of telling you to slow down.

 

Finally, taking time off to recover isn’t weak.  In light of the constant bombardment of messages about the importance of productivity and how we should solider on in the face of illness, it’s actually takes some degree of inner strength to make the decision to step down and rest.  It can be easier to stay on the treadmill, to give in to the idea that your worth is based on how much you get done in a day, and completely ignore your personal needs.  I think that the more powerful decision is to stick up for what you need, to allow yourself the time to get well and to release yourself from the guilt and frustration that do not serve you and only make you feel worse.  If you’re sick, stay home.  There’s no need to soldier on.

The three common principles of BDsM

I’ve had a few requests for some posts about BDsM.  Some of you might know that I’m interested in BDsM.  I’m both a scholar who likes to learn about new techniques, fetishes and relationships and an active participant who likes to indulge in BDsM  play in the bedroom and in day-to-day life. I’m by no means an expert, but this is something that I’m fascinated by and passionate about. I’m happy to write about this part of my life as long as my readers are interested.  And since I casually mentioned it and got a few responses asking for more information, I’m guessing that at least a couple of you are.

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I thought a good place to begin talking about BDsM on this blog would be to introduce you to the three core principles of BDsM.  BDsM covers a vast range of practices, scenes, fetishes, fantasies, lifestyles and roles.  It can be something very extreme, involving complex equipment and dedicated participants, something light and gentle or anything in between.  Even though the scope of the term BDsM is incredibly broad, there are three core principles that apply no matter whether you’re tying someone up and hanging them from the ceiling or giving your lover a few playful swats with a hairbrush.  Those are the principles of Safe, Sane and Consensual.  These three words are the cornerstone of all BDsM play and should be considered very carefully by all players involved.

So what do I mean by Safe, Sane and Consensual?  Let me break it down for you.

Safe” means that you have taken into consideration the potential risks and how to eliminate or minimise them.

  • You understand any and all equipment that you are using during your scene.
  • You have practiced the techniques that you will use.
  • You are aware of what warning signs to look for that may indicate that your partner is in distress.
  • You are able to administer first aid or quickly obtain assistance if necessary
  • You have safety equipment such as rope cutters close at hand.
  • You have discussed any physical ailments or limitations with your partner.
  • If your BDsM play involves sex, you will practice safer sex.
  • Safe words or signals should be decided upon.  If the word or signal is used, play must stop immediately.

Sane” means that you are in a rational and clear-headed state of mind.

  • You will not practice bondage, impact play, sharps play or other dangerous scenes under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
  • BDsM should not be undertaken to harm another person, to vent anger at your partner or to exact revenge.
  • Proper aftercare should be employed to ensure that all parties are feeling safe and stable after play time is over.
  • The person who takes on a Dominant or Top role must be aware of the vulnerability of their sub or bottom and not take advantage of them or abuse their position.
  • Extra care must be taken if you have a mental illness.  Potential triggers should be discussed with your partner, as well as any additional needs or aftercare that you may require.
  • You must act responsibly and with self-control.

Consensual” means that all activities are undertaken with full and informed consent of all parties involved.

  • All scenes are negotiated well before play begins.
  • Parties should discuss their limits and boundaries, and those limits should be respected.
  • Honesty is essential to achieve informed consent. You must not lie or mislead a partner about what you intend to do to them during a scene.
  • Make sure that you tell your partner if they are approaching your limits, or if they are doing something that you do not like.

As you can see, there is a tremendous amount of care and consideration which must go into the practice of BDsM.  The amount of planning and negotiation is proportionate to the level of danger or the degree of power exchange involved, but it is always a vital part of BDsM.

 

I’m certainly interested in writing more about BDsM or play.  If there are any topics you’d like me to touch on in future posts, please let me know.  As always, questions are welcome but I ask that you keep them respectful.

 

What I learned from my breakup

I was slightly stunned last week when I realised that it’s been nearly three years since the end of my most serious relationship.  That breakup ripped me up in the worst possible way.  I’ve never felt quite so adrift as I did in the weeks and months following that event.  But as horrible life events often are, my breakup was a real learning experience.  At the risk of sounding utterly trite, I learned so much about myself and about love from the aftermath of that breakup.  And now that I’ve had time to reflect upon it, I’d like to share some of those hard-earned insights with you.

 

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There is no such thing as “The One”

For years I hung onto the idea that there was a single person out there for everyone.  I think it comes from being raised in a family with two happily-married parents, with happily married grandparents and aunts and uncles who have long and happy marriages. In addition to my home environment, pop culture was also a guiding force in my firm belief in “The One”.  And for a very long time I believed that my then-boyfriend was The One.  And when that relationship ended I felt utterly shattered because that’s not what’s supposed to happen.  I worried whether I was wrong about him being my Person.  Or if he was my Person and that meant that I didn’t get another One.

 

After a lot of reflection and dating, I’ve come to the conclusion that The One is a myth.  There will always be people who are so compatible that you believe that the two of you were made for one another.  And for some people, that feeling comes only once in a lifetime.  Some people find it multiple times.  And some people don’t find it, or perhaps aren’t interested in romance.  I truly believe that my ex-boyfriend was The One for me from the ages 17 through 27.  But after that we were no longer compatible.  And I believe that I’ll get to have that feeling again.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is tear everything down and start fresh

After our final fight, I left and found a flat for me and my two cats.  I had almost no furniture because I’d sold most of my shitty second-hand stuff when I’d moved in with my boyfriend.  So I spent many, many nights in a very empty flat feeling alone, bereft and very sorry for myself.

After a long period of wallowing, I started working on filling my flat and my life.  I took a full-time job, which ultimately led to my current job which I really enjoy.  With the money I earned I bought furniture and household items that I actually liked.  I spent time with my friends and made new mates.  I started exploring new interests.  I did some online dating and had a series of incredible experiences there.

But the point is, I would never have done those things if my relationship had remained on track.  I would never have needed to buy new things or meet new people.  Although it sucked at the time, stripping that floundering relationship from my life made room and space for things that have made me feel happier and more “me” than ever before.

Fear of failure is worse than actual failure

I’m a very anxious person.  For years one of my biggest fears was that my relationship with my partner would end.  Even when our relationship was good, I would sometimes lie awake at nights freaking out about how awful it would be if we broke up.  And when we did, it was like a nightmare had come true.  Only it wasn’t as awful as I’d imagined it would be.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong, it was pretty fucking brutal.  But it wasn’t as all-consuming and insurmountable than the scenario my very active imagination had created.  I managed to deal with it, survive and thrive.

 

This realisation has helped dramatically with my anxiety.  When I’m about to take a risk or I feel scared about something, I reassure myself with the knowledge that the fear is worse than the actual scenario of failing.  And that’s not just a cliche that I placate myself with. I know that to be true.

 

Letting a partner be your plan for the future is a mistake

I did a very dumb thing during the course of my relationship.  There were many moments when I should have been planning for my future, and I’d brush away those scary thoughts about superannuation and mortgages and let Future Vanessa deal with them.  You see, I thought that my relationship would last forever, and I thought that meant I’d be set for life.  My partner worked hard and had a well-paying job.  He knew what he wanted from his career and I was happy to just go along with that, getting away with working part-time because he earned enough to take care of the bigger, scarier expenses.

 

But then we broke up.  And I realised I was screwed, financially.  I’ve always been good with my money, but I’d never earned much.  I’d saved some cash, but I never thought to put anything into my superannuation, or worry about my financial future.  My plan for the future was to let my boyfriend take care of it.  I’m ashamed to admit that, but it was the truth.  And I paid dearly for that error.  But after some panicking and nervous crying I got my butt into gear.  I took on a full-time job to better support myself.  I opened a dedicated savings account.  I put money into superannuation.  I started researching investments and cutting my discretionary spending.  And now I’m in a much more comfortable financial position.

So now, if I wind up on my own for good, I’ll be set up to take care of myself.  And if I do end up getting married down the track, I’m coming into that union with a solid foundation and the knowledge that I’ve got my own back.

A “successful” relationship doesn’t always mean “One that doesn’t end”

For a long time I nursed a deep wound caused by the feeling that I’d failed.  I felt that because we’d broken up, my relationship with my boyfriend was all terrible and all wrong.  I tortured myself thinking about all our happy memories, and tainting them with the idea that they were somehow flawed because we had broken up.

 

I had an epiphany while watching How I Met Your Mother.  In the final episode, where Barney and Robin reveal that they are getting divorced after a few years of marriage, Robin mentions that their marriage hadn’t failed, but rather that it was a successful marriage that only lasted three years.  That hit me so hard, because it’s really true.  Not all wonderful, successful and important relationships last forever.  And not all long-term relationships are successful.  For so much of our time together, my relationship with my ex was awesomely fun, romantic and nurturing.  I felt supported and truly happy.  And that isn’t tainted by the fact that our relationship didn’t last.  It was what was right for us for a portion of our lives, but after that we were no longer compatible.  It happens, and it doesn’t make me or my ex a failure.

 

Have you learned any hard lessons from a breakup?  If so I’d love to hear about it in the comments section.

How to deal with a body that’s changed.

So, over the last year or so I’ve noticed a lot of changes in my body.  And I don’t mean like, growing hair in strange places.  I mean that I’ve gained some weight.  Not a huge amount of weight, but enough that I feel uncomfortable in my own skin (and in most of my jeans).  And I’m not going to lie to you, it’s been pretty hard for me to deal with this change in my bod.

Now, I’ve written before about gaining weight, and how it’s troubled me. And a lot of the feelings I discussed in that post are still ringing true.  I’m finding it quite hard to manage the feelings that are cropping up with the weight that I’ve gained.  So in an effort to move forward, I sat down and thought carefully about why I’m so bothered by a few extra kilos.

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While my negative feelings about my body are complicated, there are a few key issues that have bubbled to the surface during my ruminations.  The first is the realisation that even though I try hard to be body positive, even though I try not to internalize the messages I’m bombarded with about how thin is better, and how being fat is a terrible thing, I’m still affected by them.  Even though I know countless people with a wide array of body shapes and sizes who are all incredibly gorgeous, even though I constantly tell people to be kind to themselves, I still feel the weight of those messages.  I still feel like I’ve failed in some way because I’ve gained weight.  I still feel less attractive when I notice that my jeans won’t zip or that my belly pokes out more than it used to.  I still feel like I should be ashamed of my weight gain.  It makes me pretty angry that even though I’ve done my best to resist that negativity and shame, it’s still wormed it’s way into my consciousness.

I’ve also felt frustrated with myself because I keep having this idea that my weight is something that I should control.  And that if I’m gaining weight, it’s because I’ve done the wrong thing.  I feel ashamed and lazy.  I feel mad that I have to manage my depression with drugs that have caused me to gain weight.  I feel burdened by my full-time job, which takes up much of my time and energy and makes it much more difficult to eat well and exercise. And I curse my genetics which make it more likely that I’m going to have a rounder figure as I get older.  I feel impotent because there are so many factors working against me, and I imagine that I should be able to manage them and keep my figure because that’s what women are “supposed to do”.

I also feel uncomfortable with the way I look.  Now, I need to point out that I don’t think that fat=ugly.  The reason that I don’t feel comfortable is that I’m not used to the way my body looks now. Even though the shift in my weight hasn’t been dramatic, it’s enough that I feel strange in my own skin.  I look in the mirror and it feels weird to see more rounded hips, and a curved tummy  and actual boobs.  My figure has become more hourglass where it was always fairly up-and-down and very skinny.  My clothes fit me differently and hug me too tightly over my new curves.  Outfits that used to make me feel confident and sassy now make me feel like a sausage in a too-tight casing. I don’t feel like I look like “me”. It’s so difficult to learn to love a new shape when I’d barely become confident in the one I had.

But I’m doing alright.  And there are a few things I’ve been doing that have helped immensely.  I’d like to share those things with you, in case you’re also struggling with a body that’s changed.

Talk about it.

Discussing my feelings and insecurities has been extremely helpful.  I’m lucky enough to have many people in my life who were kind to me, who listened attentively and empathised.  Talking it over with a few of my favourite people helped me to feel so much better.  It made me realise that my feelings aren’t unique, that these struggles are something that most people go through.  It gave me comfort to know that those special people didn’t think any less of me because I’d gained weight, and still valued me just as much.

Decide what action you want to take (if any)

Let me be absolutely clear: you don’t have to do anything about your weight gain if you don’t want to.  I’m the last person who will tell you that you need to go on a diet.  But I do think that if your weight gain is causing you pain and grief, then you need to do something.  For me, I’ve taken stock of my  lifestyle and realised that I could definitely improve my eating habits and exercise routine.  I know that I need to plan a more well-rounded diet and move my body more often.  At the same time, I know that unless I starve myself and stop taking my medication, I’m never going to get back to my old body.  And so as well as taking better care of myself, I’ve decided that I need to work on accepting my body and coming to terms with the changes that have taken place.  So whether you want to change up your habits, or look at your emotional patterns, or a bit of both, I think taking some action to get yourself feeling better is a good idea.

Recognise that bodies change

All bodies, particularly female bodies, go through massive changes over the course of a lifetime.  And whether those changes are caused by a lifestyle shift, hormones, medication, illness, age, growing a human inside you or some other reason, it can be difficult to manage.  As difficult as it is, it’s really important to accept that our bodies alter and shift as time passes.  It’s perfectly OK to mourn the shape and size you once were, but I think it’s also a good idea to begin to celebrate some good things about your new shape.  For example, I’m trying to feel chuffed about the fact that I finally have boobs, after years of struggling with push-up bras.  Find something that you like, celebrate that and build from there.

Get rid of clothes that trigger self hate.

This one has been hard for me, because my clothes are a huge part of my life.  I love getting dressed in the morning, and I place a lot of emotional attachment to the items in my wardrobe.  For me those skinny jeans aren’t just a couple of denim tubes and a zipper, they have the power to make me feel fierce and sexy.  And when those fierce jeans will no longer zip, their power changes….they become a trigger for self loathing.  Lately I’ve been taking a long, hard look at my clothes, and I’ve gotten rid of a few things that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to wear again.  There are some I’m hanging onto because there’s a chance that they’ll fit someday.  But the ones that made me feel the shittiest had to go.  It’s hard to let go of those items because of the memories attached to them, and because in a way it feels like the end of a part of my life.  But sometimes you have to take a deep breath, let them go and then buy some new gear that makes you feel fierce and fabulous.

Do you struggle with your body when it changes?  What have you done to make that change easier?

Things I Love Thursday 6/8/2015

It’s Thursday and I’m ready to throw myself headlong into this week’s Things I Love Thursday list.  So let’s jump right in, shall we?

This week I love:

– Body epiphanies.  A few nights ago I was looking at some old photos and feeling shitty about my body.  I was so upset when I compared how my body looks now to how it looked a few years ago.  I’ve gained a bit of weight over the past few years, not a lot but a bit.  And I’m insecure about it.  But I realised that my body looks amazing now.  I’m super strong from yoga and I’m very toned.  And I also reminded myself that mentally I’m a lot more stable now than I was then and I take much better care of myself.  Back when those photos were taken, I was abusing my body to look the way I did.  I restricted the food I’d eat and I was using exercise as a punishment.  Nowadays I eat a more balanced diet and I enjoy my food.  I’ve found that I love yoga and prefer to do a daily yoga workout than several grueling  running sessions a week.  I think that my happiness and sanity is a fair trade off for a thinner body.

-Cupping massages.  I had my first one in a year and it was amazing.  I got the most terrible bruises from the gliding cups but my back and shoulders feel looser than they have in ages.  It’s brilliant.

– Finding an amazing craft shop while on a date with my girlfriend.  Rah and I were shopping in the city last weekend and we accidentally stumbled across a store called Morris and Sons.  It was a wonderland of yarns and patterns and I went crazy buying beautiful balls of yarn.  I could have spent hundreds of dollars in there, but I restrained myself.

– Oolong tea.

– Dried apricots.  So delicious.

– Celebrating my brother’s new job.  I’m so proud of him.

– Great work weeks where everything seems to just fall into place.

– Working on some new knitting projects and being utterly chuffed with how each one has turned out.

– Sleeping with a cat tucked under each arm.

– Lazy, rainy afternoons with a blanket and a book.

– Sweet kisses from my man.

– Being able to taste and smell things again after weeks of blocked sinuses.

-Finally getting my blog reader to zero.  I haven’t cleared it out in almost six months and it was so good to get back into reading my favourite blogs again.

What do you love this week?

5 Fandom Friday: My comfort films.

Ah yes, the concept of a “comfort film” is one that’s well known to me.  I have a selection of movies that I’ll pop on when I’m feeling sick, blue or otherwise blah.  These magical movies transport me to other worlds and make me feel so much better.

1 A Series of Unfortunate Events

For years this has been my go-to sick day movie.  When I’m home sick with a cold or a migraine this is the film I reach for.  I enjoy the dry wit that runs through the film, and I always feel a bit better when I compare my lives to that of the Baudelaire orphans.

2. The Wizard of Oz

This film is one of my two all-time favourites.  Nothing calms my spirits quite like popping this in the DVD player and taking a trip over the rainbow.  From the moment Dorothy opens her door into the colourful land of Oz, I feel as though my troubles have melted like lemon drops and drifted away.  It’s the perfect way to escape from the problems in real life.

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3. The Court Jester

Any Danny Kaye movie is a great movie in my book, but the Court Jester is something really special.  It’s impossible to feel sorry for yourself when you’re giggling at Danny’s sharp banter, wordplay and sensational footwork.

4. Hook

This Peter Pan adaptation is amazing for so many reasons.  For one, it stars Robin Williams, Maggie Smith and Bob Hoskins.  It’s a rollicking adventure into Neverland with so many high-energy scenes.  And it’s got plenty of tear-jerking moments if you need a bit of a cry but you can’t seem to get the tears flowing.  Plus I love shouting the word “Bangarang!” in celebration at regular intervals during the film.

5. The Princess Bride.

Ah, what could be more reassuring and comforting than a tale of twu wuv?  This film is brimming with hope even in the most desperate of situations.  And it’s jolly funny too.

 

What are your comfort films?  I’d love to have a few new ones to add to my list, so feel free to share in the comments.