reviews

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Product review: Lush by Lovense

A few months ago I was doing an epic eye-roll at a camgirl show.  The model I was watching was wearing a Lovense Lush and having a massive orgasm.  I was intensely sceptical. “C’mon, there’s no freakin’ way that a tiny insertable vibrator is making her cum that hard….or at all”.  In the past the only insertable egg vibes I’d encountered were buzzy, weak and lacklustre, so you can imagine why I was doubtful that this toy was capable of producing such a leg-shaking reaction.

Fast forward to last month when Aphrodite’s Pleasure sent me a Lush of my very own to review.  I had extremely low expectations for this toy and truly believed that this review was going to be a slam-dunk.  I made a list of tests to put the Lush through it’s paces and set to work trying it out….

And time and again, this toy proved me wrong.  I went into this review fully expecting to hate this toy, but the Lovense Lush wooed me, seduced me and turned those expectations on their head.  If you’re also a sceptic, get ready to be converted.

To start with, let’s take a look at the basics.  The Lush by Lovense is a wearable vibrator with remote control via a smartphone app.  It’s made with 100% body safe silicone and feels buttery soft to the touch.  The Lush only comes in one colour: hot pink.  This is fine for me because I adore anything pink but some folks might not be jazzed that there are no other colour options.  The Lush is rechargeable and a full charge will give you between 1.5 and 2 hours of use.  This is a pretty decent amount of playtime for such a tiny toy.

To use the Lush, you insert it into your vagina, with the tail outside your body.  The entire toy vibrates, including the little tail.  The vibration quality is top-notch.  I was utterly surprised that such a small package could deliver such deep, rumbling vibrations.  The Lush is cleverly shaped to target your g-spot when inserted.  The bulge at the top of the vibrator nestles against the front wall of your vagina to deliver strong sensation to your g-spot.  As if that wasn’t awesome enough, the tail sits between your legs and rumbles against your clit, although with less intensity than the insertable portion of the toy.  This dual sensation was a pleasant surprise, as I wasn’t expecting any external stimulation from this toy.  I can very rarely orgasm without clitoral stimulation, so the addition of the vibrating tail was a very welcome feature for me.  When inserted, the Lush is really comfortable and stays in place perfectly.

You can use the Lush manually or by remote control by pairing it with the app.  To use it manually, you press and hold the button to turn it on, and then click the button to turn up the vibration and cycle through the vibration patterns.  This is kind of awkward if the toy is inside you, as you have to fumble around in your vagina if you want to adjust the intensity.  Although manual use is a possibility, it’s pretty clear from the design that the Lush is intended to be used as a remote control toy.

The Lovense app is free to download and is compatible with Android and Apple products (you can even use your Apple watch to control it).  It’s super simple to use with really intuitive controls and a bright interface.  I was really impressed with the app and all the different features it offers.  Firstly, you can use the app as a basic remote control for your toy.  You can increase or decrease the intensity with the slide of a finger and create your own patterns.  I put the Lush through a bunch of different tests to check the range of the remote control.  It continued to work perfectly through several layers of clothing, under the covers of my bed and from several feet away.  I had expected that it might struggle to remain connected if I put on clothes or climbed under the covers but the Lush didn’t skip a beat.

Speaking of beats, the app also has a really cool music setting.  You can choose a song from your phone or your Spotify account and the toy will buzz to the music.  I took this feature for it’s maiden voyage to one of my favourite songs- Thriller by Michael Jackson and was excited yet puzzled by the result.  The feature was a lot of fun, but for the life of me I can’t figure out what the vibrations are synched to.  It doesn’t follow the beat, or the tempo, or the melody of the song that’s playing.  The pattern of vibration seems somewhat random, and yet it still feels like it’s working with the music somehow.  I experimented with many different songs and found the results interesting and fun (for the record, my favourite song to pair it with is Jungle Love by Morris Day and The Time).  I like using the music setting for foreplay, because it gives you a fun, random-ish pattern of vibration that is unpredictable.  However, I can’t get off using this setting because I need continuous and predictable vibrations or orgasm.  But it’s really fun to play with to tease yourself.

While the Lush is a lot of fun to play with on your own, it really shines as a couples vibrator.  The app has a long-distance setting that is nothing short of fantastic.  Basically, your partner downloads the app, and you give them permission to control your toy remotely.  Your long-distance lover can then control the vibrations of your toy from anywhere in the world.  There’s even a chat function, so that you can talk dirty and send sexy pictures while you play.  I live three hours from my partner, and we had so much fun with this function.  It was amazing to let him take control and actually be able to remotely hold my orgasm in the palm of his hand. The first time we tried it, it was a little strange because of the lack of feedback.  He wasn’t sure if it was working until I texted him to tell him I was enjoying myself.  But pair this toy with skype or facetime, and you’ve got yourself a seriously fun long-distance sex date. I also like the fact that you can block users from controlling your toy, so if your romance turns sour you don’t have to worry about your ex hijacking your vibrator.

One reason that a lot of people are drawn to wearable vibrators is because they open the door to public play. Just imagine that you’re wearing a vibrator and nobody knows except your partner, who is holding the remote control.  And at any moment they could press the button and send you into a quivering mess while you desperately try to contain yourself.  Unfortunately, most wearable vibrators that I’ve encountered shit all over this fantasy.  They’re either so uncomfortable that you can’t stand to wear them for an extended period, or they are super loud so everyone within ten metres can hear your panties buzzing.  Either that or they’re weak and aren’t really good for much more than a lack-lustre fizz.  The Lush is the first toy I’ve used that is actually practical for public play.  Firstly, it’s really comfortable to wear, and sits discreetly under your clothing.  Secondly, even at it’s highest setting, it’s practically silent once you’ve inserted it.  I could not believe how quiet this toy was, and I’ve worn it in public without anybody raising an eyebrow.  Finally, the vibrations are strong enough to feel amazing, so you can actually play with real pleasure rather than tiny pings and buzzes.  The remote has a fairly good range, up to 10m when standing or 3m when sitting, so if you’re at the movies or out  to dinner then you’re well within range for play.  The one slightly awkward thing is that you need to turn the toy on before play.  So if you’re walking around with it on, the batteries are going to be draining and your playtime might be cut short.  But realistically, this is a pretty minor downfall.  For public play, the Lush ticks almost every box.

One other use I’ve found for the Lush is as an external clitoral vibrator.  It’s small enough to target your clit during intercourse or for solo play.  The rumbly vibrations feel incredible on my clit and labia. The fact that it has a travel lock make this the ideal pack-and-go toy.

I am so impressed with the Lush by Lovense.  It’s an incredibly versatile toy that can be used solo or with a partner, it can be used for BDsM power play scenes, public play, long distance play or steamy masturbation sessions.  Not only does it open the door for creative play, but it does exactly what it’s supposed to. It delivers amazingly strong vibrations and pairs perfectly with the app, without losing connection or interrupting your playtime.  I have to eat humble pie and apologise to the cam model that I accused of faking her orgasm while using this toy….because I now know that it’s entirely possible to have a leg-quaking climax with a remote controlled bullet vibe.  Or at least, it is with the Lovense Lush.

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Product review: Tantus Purr dildo

I don’t believe I’ve ever crushed as hard on an inanimate object as I have on the Tantus Purr dildo.  This toy is undoubtedly one of my favourites and I’m extremely excited to share it with you today.

I purchased the Purr way back in January as part of Tantus’ new years sale.  I was looking for a toy that had either great texture or dramatic size, and in the Purr I got both.  My eyes were instantly drawn to the amazing pink pearl colour.  This particular shade is just so pretty and it really does have a gorgeous pearly sheen to it that makes it look utterly magical.  If pink isn’t your thing, the Purr also comes in Purple Haze, which is a stunning galactic purple shade.

To begin with, I want to talk about the texture on this toy.  The Purr features a series of deep ribs down the shaft.  I am always a little bit dubious when it comes to textured toys, because often I can’t feel those ridges and bumps during use.  I’ve always scoffed at condoms that are “ribbed for her pleasure” because I’m yet to meet a woman who can detect those puny ribs, let alone derive pleasure from them.  But the Purr is a whole other story.  During entry, those ribs buzz a beautiful tune along my inner lips and drag deliciously inside me.  The feeling is still subtle, but very pleasurable indeed.

 

The Purr is what I call a “front-loaded” toy, in that it has a pronounced head and is heavier towards the front end.  I personally love toys that have this particular weight distribution because they feel wonderful against my G-spot.  The Purr also feels great during shallow thrusting because of that big, bold head.  The head is perfectly rounded which makes it easy to insert, although it’s not as tapered as some other toys I own.

 

Now, we need to talk about the size of this toy.  When I pulled it out of the box, my eyes watered a little because I thought it would be much too big to play with comfortably.  Before this, I always imagined that my vagina was a dainty little flower which should only be penetrated with slim, slender toys.  And up until this point all of my toys fit that description.  But the Purr made me realise how much I enjoy big toys.  I don’t think I’ve quite earned the title of Size Queen, but I’ll comfortably admit to being a Size Princess.  The Purr is 6.75 inches long and 1.4 inches wide at the head.  So it ain’t little.  But boy, does it feel great.  The silicone is fairly firm, which means that it doesn’t have a whole lot of give to it.  This and the girth of the toy means that I usually need a little warm up before I’m ready to jump in with this one.  But once you’re properly ready, the size and width of this toy will fill you up and feel wonderful.

The flared base of the Purr is a very important feature.  Firstly, it makes it harness compatible.  It slips neatly into my harness and I honestly adore the way this looks when I’m wearing it.  The flexibility of the silicone combined with the weight of the head give it a nice little ‘bob’ when you walk which I quite love.  Additionally, the flared base means that you can use the Purr anally, for pegging or solo play.  The size of this toy means that it is definitely not for beginners to butt play, but experienced pegging fans may enjoy tackling the challenge.  Admittedly, I tried this one in my butt because I was dying to experience the intensity of those ribs, but sadly it had me beat.  Although my vagina loves big toys, my butt still prefers the small, dainty variety.

You’ll also notice that the Purr has a hole in the bottom of the base.  What on earth is that for?  Well, it has two uses.  The first are to insert a suction cup, which allows you to attach the toy to the shower, a chair, the wall or another flat surface for hands-free fun.

Secondly, the hole can be used to house a vibrating bullet to turn your dildo into a vibrator.  The Purr comes with a small Tantus bullet, which fits snugly into the hole.  Admittedly, I found the vibe very disappointing when used this way.  The dense silicone really muffles the vibrations so they are pretty well dampened by the dildo.  But on it’s own, the bullet really packs a punch.  For a battery operated bullet, this thing has a fair amount of buzz.  It operates with a single click-on-click-off button and only has one power setting, but it’s a nice basic bullet.  I prefer using the bullet on my clit while thrusting with the Purr rather than using it in the intended way.

The Purr is made with Tantus’s gorgeous glossy silicone, which is smooth to the touch and completely body safe.  It is waterproof and can be cleaned in the sink or even in the dishwasher for a really thorough clean.

 

The Purr retails for $74.21 on the Tantus site.  The quality of this toy make it well worth the price, and I’d happily recommend it to my readers.  Although I purchased it nearly a year ago, and I have loads of other toys, this is one that I come back to over and over.  It’s a winner in my eyes.

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Inside Out: a damn good film about depression.

Having depression means that I deal with a range of struggles on a regular basis.  But one thing that I find the most difficult is explaining what having depression is like to people that have never experienced it.  It is so rough to find just the right combination of words or the ideal analogy to sum up what it feels like to be depressed.

So last weekend when I watched Pixar’s Inside Out I nearly jumped for joy.  Well, not literally.  In actual fact I sat and watched the film with my mouth agape, occasionally brushing away a tear.  The gaping jaw and tears were the product of watching a film that so accurately summed up what it feels like to have depression.  The joy came later when I realised that I might just have found a great movie to recommend to people who want to better understand the experience of depression.

 

*Note: This post contains spoilers*

 

Today I’d like to touch on some of the aspects of Inside Out that I felt brilliantly illustrated what it’s like to have depression.

 

Everything Turns Blue

When Riley’s depression begins, her emotions are shocked to see that everything Sadness touches begins to turn blue.  Slowly her collection of glowing golden memories are tainted by Sadness, and even her core memories (the most important memories which build aspects of Riley’s personality) begin to take on an inky hue.  To me this felt like such a great metaphor for depression.  When you’re depressed, sadness seems to seep into every aspect of your being.  Even once-happy memories become tinged with regret, anxiety and longing.  Finding a positive spin on your negative thoughts becomes nearly impossible.

 

I particularly liked the part where Joy picks up one of the now-blue memories and begins to frantically rub at it, trying to turn it back to gold.  This made me think of all the times when someone has told me to “just look on the bright side” or “think positive thoughts” as a means of turning my depression around.  As much as you’d like to be able to rub a little happiness on your emotional wounds, depression isn’t fixed that easily.

 

Feeling cut off from personality traits and interests

When Riley’s depression really begins to take hold, her emotions lose contact with her “Personality Islands”.  Each Personality Island represents an important aspect of Riley’s personality, from her values, her favourite hobbies and the things she holds most dear.  One by one, the Personality Islands begin to crumble and decay.  I felt a tug in my heart when this started to happen, because I could relate so strongly to that feeling.  When my depression deepens, I sometimes feel as though I’m losing touch with the things that make me “me”.  Hobbies and interests stop being interesting.  I will go through the motions of doing the things that usually bring me joy, and feel intensely frustrated when I don’t feel anything.  It’s as though my personality traits become dulled and I’m a colourless version of myself.  Two of Riley’s Personality Islands represent Friendship and Family, and the crumbling of these two islands is particularly poignant as she becomes more isolated from her nearest and dearest.

 

 

Frustration and confusion.

Two words I use frequently when talking about depression are frustration and confusion.  And these two concepts are brilliantly depicted in the film.  When Riley’s memories begin turning blue, her emotions are beside themselves with worry.  They simply can’t figure out why it’s happening.  Even Sadness can’t explain what’s going on even though she’s the cause of all the trouble.  This feeling of “why is this happening?”  is so common with depression.  When it starts creeping into your life, it’s terrifying and you feel so confused as to why you are feeling this way.

 

After the initial shock, Riley’s emotions become frustrated as their attempts to turn her negative feelings around don’t work.  They try to contain Sadness by asking her to stay within a circle drawn on the floor, they attempt to distract her with meaningless tasks and they make her promise not to touch any memories.  But she continues touching and making things worse.  And so the emotions become annoyed and upset with her.  The thing I found the most interesting was that even Sadness was frustrated with herself.  She didn’t know why she kept touching things, she just felt drawn to do the very thing she wasn’t supposed to.  And that’s the frustrating thing about depression: you don’t want to feel this way, you don’t want the sadness to take over but you can’t help it.  And it seems as though any effort you make to contain it is fruitless.

 

 

Fear, Anger and Disgust

When Joy and Sadness head off to figure out a solution to their problems, Fear, Anger and Disgust are left in charge of Riley’s internal engine.  Which in turn leads to a slew of inappropriate emotional responses.  While this part of the movie was filled with comic relief, there was a very un-funny message behind it.  In my experience, once my good feelings have bolted in the face of a depressive episode, I’m left with Fear: which makes me anxious and wary; Disgust: which makes me judgemental and sarcastic and Anger: which gives me a very short fuse.  It is no fun trying to get around with those three driving the ship.  While it was pretty funny watching Anger, Fear and Disgust try to figure out what Joy would have done to handle the situation, I was reminded of how difficult it is to maintain the appearance of normalcy when you just want to scream at everyone who crosses your path.  I remember going to work and having to force a grit-teethed smile onto my face and try to sound polite as I dealt with each customer.  I vividly recall trying to arrange my face into the closest approximation of a pleasant expression when attending a party with friends.  It is exhausting and difficult to maintain a normal life when your emotions are out of whack.

 

 

Sadness isn’t the bad guy

One of the aspects of the film that I felt was the most important was how the character Sadness was dealt with.  Sadness wasn’t the villain.  Although the other characters get annoyed with her, she isn’t the bad guy in this film.  Sadness was a part of Riley’s emotional team from the beginning, and I think that’s a really important distinction to make.  Sadness is a normal part of being human.  But depression is what happens when Sadness gets out of control.  I thought it was great that the film didn’t try to make out that all sadness is bad, and that any negative emotion should be swept under the carpet.  It was great to see that recognition that we all go through a range of emotions, and that it’s only a problem when those emotions become unbalanced.

 

The truth is, Inside Out wasn’t a perfect representation of depression. There were some aspects of the story that didn’t gel with my personal experience.  But I still feel that it came closer than most other movies I’ve seen at describing what it is like to live with depression.  I am so heartened to have found this film that so beautifully illustrates one of the least-beautiful aspects of my life.

 

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Vanessa reviews: Sleepless in Seattle.

Hey dudes!  I’ve been thinking that it might be high time that I started reviewing movies again.  It’s been years since I’ve penned a proper review of a film, and I’d really like to get back into it.  A few weeks ago I watched Sleepless in Seattle for the first time.  It’s one of those classic films that I just felt I should see, and so many people have raved to me about how romantic it is.

In the wake of 50 Shades of Grey, I thought it would be worth turning the spotlight on some other supposedly romantic movies that are actually creepy as hell.  And Sleepless in Seattle definitely fits the bill.  I found this film unrealistic, unsettling and downright creepy.  I wasn’t rooting for the two main characters to get together, I wanted Tom Hanks to get the hell away from that obsessive Baltimore chick as quickly as possible.  It’s ironic that he mentions how frightened he was by Fatal Attraction when he finds himself in the clutches of a creepy stalker who would prefer to pursue an imaginary relationship with a stranger than a real one with her fiancee.

Anyway, I’ve mad a little video with my full review.  I hope you enjoy it!

Have you seen Sleepless in Seattle? Did you find it romantic or creepy?

Also, are there any other movies you’d like me to review?  I’d be happy to take requests.

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Daily outfit: Down the Rabbit Hole

Today, after much waiting and a great deal of anticipation, I went to see Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland.  I am going to do my daily outfit post, and then after the pictures, there will be a review, so for those of you who haven’t seen it yet, don’t scroll past the photos, because there will be spoilers!

I am wearing:

– Vintage blue and white halterneck dress.

– black and white striped socks

– black leather corset belt

– black leather heels from Nine West

– Key brooch from Aldo

– Ace of Hearts pendant

– blue and silver swirl earrings

– Amethyst ring

Sapphire ring.

Can I just say that it’s been a long time since I have experienced such anticipation for a film?  I saw the trailer for Alice in June last year, and I have been waiting with baited breath every since.  I totally think that it was worth the wait.

Tim Burton does an excellent job with Alice in Wonderland.  Mr Burton is well known for taking classic stories and putting his own twist on them, and this film was no exception.  A sequel to the original story, Burton lovingly recreates so many beloved characters, and gives a great deal more insight into each resident of Wonderland.  I especially loved Tweedledee and Tweedledum, who were excellently portrayed by Matt Lucas (of Little Britain fame).  They were just adorable!  The fluttering White Queen and the bulbous-headed Red Queen were also brilliantly rendered.  I have to give a one- woman Mexican wave to Johnny Depp’s Mad Hatter, who is suitable barmy but also a great hero of the piece.  Alice was just lovely also.

Visually, the film is spectacular, with intricate scenery, great effects and spectacular costumes.  I especially loved the Hatter’s collection of millenery and Alice’s ever-expanding array of gowns>  I loved the Burton actually bothered to deal with the problem of Alice’s clothes as she grew and shrank throughout the film.  When I was a little girl, I always wondered why Alice’s clothes managed to change with her body, and Burton puts a more realistic twist on this.

I thought that the film was a triumph for Burton, and I would highly recommend it.  A word of caution though, I wouldn’t take any small children to see this film.  Although it is based on a children’s story, it is certainly not suitable for little ones.

I say Bollocks to Avatar, Alice in Wonderland will be the movie of 2010.