product reviews

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Fun Factory Stronic Zwei Pulsator review.

This is a review that I’ve been trying to write for several months.  I bought the Stronic Zwei nearly two years ago, and it’s taken me this long to finally sit down and tell you about it.  I feel a real internal push-and-pull about this toy.  There are so many things that I love about the Stronic Zwei, and yet…..overall I’m underwhelmed.  And my reaction is partially due to the toy itself and partly due to my own expectations, so it’s kind of hard to land on a definite opinion of the Stronic Zwei.  Some days I love it, and some days I want to hurl it across the room.  But let’s go back to the beginning.

I stumbled across Fun Factory’s Stronic line when I was hunting for a new toy to add to my collection.  I was on the lookout for something new, some exciting hook that would set it apart from other toys.  And I believed that I had found it in the Stronic toys.   See, Fun Factory’s Stronic toys aren’t vibrators…they’re pulsators.  The shaft encases a magnetic plate that moves back and forth, creating a thrusting motion.  I was eager to try this pulsation for myself and spent a long time deciding which of the Stronic toys to purchase.

At the time, there were three Stronic pulsators available: The Stronic Eins, The Stronic Drei and the Stronic Zwei.  (Fun Factory has since added the Stronic G to the collection).  I spent a long time weighing up the three designs before I settled on the Zwei.  I didn’t like the long, mostly straight shaft of the Eins, because I felt the shape would bypass my g-spot.  The Drei had the curve I wanted, but I was put off by the extreme ridges which I worried would feel uncomfortable and be difficult to clean.  I settled on the Zwei because I liked the sweeping curves and smooth finish.  I was a bit wary of the fact that the Zwei is marketed as a prostate toy, but there are plenty of prostate toys that work amazingly well for g-spot stimulation so I was willing to take a chance.

When I lifted my Stronic Zwei from it’s box, I was instantly smitten by the physical features of the toy.  The shaft is the most delicious, velvety silicone that feels luxurious to touch.  The handle is hard plastic and the whole toy is quite hefty.  The three raised buttons are smooth and easy to press, but not so sensitive that they’re likely to get accidentally pushed during play.  The Stronic Zwei reminds me of a sexy pirate sword with it’s firm handle and flared pommel.

Sadly, once I put the toy into use, some of these features showed their darker side.  That velvet silicone is a total dust-magnet and this toy picks up every hair and speck of lint in the vicinity.   This toy is also the worst lube-hog in my collection.  The soft finish just seems to dry out lube exceptionally quickly, which sucks because you need quite a generous amount of lube to use this toy successfully.

The Stronic Zwei’s controls are fantastic.  They’re easy to use, intuitive and simple.  To turn the toy on and off, you press the big red FUN button.  The plus and minus buttons allow you to cycle through the different pulsation patterns.  I adore the fact that you can turn the toy off with a single click of the FUN button. The Zwei is also equipped with a travel lock so that your toy won’t accidentally get turned on in your luggage.  However, I’ve found this feature redundant because this toy is too freaking heavy for me to consider taking it with me when I travel.  It’s possibly the only toy that has been left behind on every single journey to my partner’s house, solely because it adds far too much heft to my luggage.

My play sessions with the Stronic Zwei have been equal parts joyful and frustrating.  When it works, it’s magnificent, but when it doesn’t it’s an orgasm-killer.  And it’s taken me a lot of trial and error to get to a point where I have at least as many positive sessions as sigh-inducing ones.

The main issue I have with the Zwei is a common one with most toys do anything other than vibrate.  See, when you look at such a toy on a display, and you see it thrusting away merrily, it looks really impressive.  But as soon as the business end of the toy encounters resistance (for example, when it’s buried in your vagina or anus) everything comes unstuck.  What usually happens is that the movement gets transferred to the handle, because the shaft of the toy is being held still by your body.  So in order to stabilise the toy, you have to hold the handle firmly in place.  And even then, this often results in a muffling of the motion.  I’ve never experienced the same level of movement during use as you’d get with a toy that’s just wriggling about on a display.

This is definitely the case with the Zwei.  If I try to use it hands-free, it pumps away merrily and quickly slides out of my vagina.  If I’m not holding it, it absolutely won’t stay in position for more than a few seconds.  But if I hold the handle too firmly, the pulsations pretty much grind to a halt.  So I’ve had to experiment to find just the right amount of pressure on the handle to keep the toy in place, but also to make sure that the pulsations are still powerful enough.  And if my grip varies slightly in either direction, then pleasure quickly morphs into frustration.  So often, I’ll be on the edge of an orgasm and tense or relax at the wrong moment and the toy will either freeze or slip from position, resulting in me wrenching it from my genitals and reaching for a more reliable vibrator.

When the stars and planets align and the Zwei is perfectly in place, the pulsations do feel really awesome.  It’s a very different sensation from any vibrator I’ve tried, like a very deep rumble and quake.  It doesn’t feel like thrusting to me, but it does feel great.  The Zwei has 10 vibration patterns that vary in speed and intensity.  I prefer the hard, slow shakes to the fast, galloping pulses personally.

One thing I will say in favour of the Zwei is that it’s magical as a manual dildo.  If I use it without switching the motor on, it gets me off every time.  The firm handle gives me plenty of leverage to thrust with.  The curved tip finds my g-spot effortlessly, and has an ideal firm-yet-squishy texture that massages it to perfection.  The weight of the shaft means that thrusting with your hand feels powerful, even if you’ve got weak spaghetti arms like I do.  It’s just a shame that I can’t get these orgasmic results using the toy the way it’s intended to be used.  It feels like a bit of a waste.

In the name of science, I attempted to use this toy anally just to see how it felt.  The Stronic Zwei is most definitely an advanced anal toy, and it was too much for my poor butt.  I managed to insert it no further than the first curve, and it was just too large for me.  If you are more experienced with anal play, you might really enjoy this toy, but I can honestly tell you that it’s not for beginners.

The Stronic Zwei comes with Fun Factory’s click-and-charge charger, which attaches to the base of the toy with a magnet.  Normally I’m not a fan of magnetic chargers, because it’s really easy to knock them out of position but this one makes strong contact and stays in place.  The fact that there is no open charging port means that the toy is waterproof and can be submerged for underwater play and easy cleaning.

Now, as this is a luxury sex toy, it comes with a luxury price tag.  The Fun Factory Stronic Zwei costs around $250 at full price.  I got mine on sale for $200, but it still makes it the most expensive toy in my toybox.  And honestly….I don’t think it’s worth it.   Although the toy has some amazing features and is a really innovative design, I just don’t think it’s worth paying $200 for.  Now, I take full responsibility for the fact that I chose not to buy either of the toys that are designed for vaginal use, and instead went for the prostate massager.  It’s possible that if I’d bought one of the other two designs, I might have had a better experience.  But I’m still dubious, because I don’t think that the Eins or Drei are so dramatically different that they would stay in place more effectively.  Now that Fun Factory has released the Stronic G, which is more targeted for G Spot penetration, I’d be keen to give that a shot.  But I’m not curious enough to pay upwards of $300 to find out if it’s a more effective toy.

 

I’m not willing to recommend the Stronic Zwei if you’re intending to use it as a g-spot vibrator.  While it does have many admirable features, it just isn’t terribly effective for this purpose.  Although there are other Stronic pulsators available, I can’t really comment on whether or not they are any better.  I found this particular toy good, but not good enough to warrant paying a quarter of a grand for it.

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Product review: Fun Factory Bootie

Today I’m publishing my first ever anal toy review.  And the toy I’ve chosen to talk about is the Fun Factory Bootie plug.  Although the Bootie wasn’t my first anal plug, it is the most beginner-friendly plug I’ve tried.  And I thought it would be nice to make my first review one that appealed to readers who have never tried butt play, but might be keen to give it a go.

The Bootie is a great first-time plug for so many reasons.  It comes in three different sizes: Small, Medium and Large.  There isn’t a lot of variation between the sizes, so each one is a gentle step up from the last. I purchased the Medium plug because I wanted something a little bit larger than the smallest plug in my collection.  But if you’ve never tried anal play before, then the Small Bootie is non-intimidating and the perfect size.

In addition to the size range, I believe that the shape of the Bootie is great for first timers.  Rather than the traditional teardrop shape that most plugs have, the Bootie is a kind of elongated comma shape.  I personally find that this shape makes insertion smoother and easier.  With teardrop plugs, I have to take an incremental approach to inserting them because they get gradually wider.    Because the tip of the Bootie is the widest part, once I’ve eased that past the back door, my butt kind of just embraces the rest of the plug. When inserting a toy is easy and smooth, it makes the rest of your play session so much more enjoyable.

The texture of this plug makes it super easy to insert and wear too.  The Bootie is made from Fun Factory’s gorgeous velvety silicone.  It’s 100% body safe and non-porous, which is ultra important for anal toys.  A toy that is not body safe can harbour bacteria and cause infections.  Porous toys are a breeding ground for odours, which is the last thing you want from a butt toy.  The Bootie is so smooth and silky to touch, with absolutely no seams or ridges.  While experienced players might like a bit of texture to enhance sensation, for the first-time user the mere fact that you’re wearing a butt plug is usually enough sensation. The Bootie gives you a nice full feeling without any irritation or friction.

Once inserted, the Bootie feels amazing. The curved tip follows the natural arc of your body.  I always insert this toy with the curved end facing forwards, towards my belly button.  This way, the bulge at the tip provides indirect g-spot stimulation.  If you have a prostate, inserting the Bootie in this way will angle it towards your P-spot.  The Bootie is firm, but not rigid.  It has a bit of squish to it, so it applies a good amount of pressure without being too intense.  I can comfortably wear this plug for extended periods without feeling sore.

Another reason that I adore the Bootie is that it’s great for wearing during sex.  The firm-yet-soft texture and the curved shape help to angle my partner’s cock or a dildo towards my g-spot during penetrative play.  This leads to a really full feeling as well as intense stimulation which is often missing during penetrative intercourse.  People with prostates will appreciate the additional stimulation this plug offers when worn during partnered play or during solo sessions.

One of the most vital features of any butt toy is the base.  A toy that is going into your anus needs to have a flared base to ensure that it can be easily retrieved.  The Bootie has one of the most comfortable bases of any anal toy that I’ve tried.  While most butt plugs have a rounded or rectangular base, the Bootie boasts a T-bar base of flexible silicone. When worn, the base nestles snugly between your butt cheeks.  It’s is rigid enough to keep the toy in position, but has enough flex to move with your body when you walk or sit.  For this reason, the Bootie is a great plug for wearing for extended periods.  The base is super comfortable and not obtrusive, but is also strong enough to make sure that your plug doesn’t get sucked into the great beyond.

An important factor for beginner toys is price.  If you’re trying something for the first time, you don’t want to spend a lot of money on a toy that you’re not certain is going to light your fire.  This means that often, beginners will buy cheap, low-quality toys that don’t perform well or aren’t body safe.  The Bootie plugs range in price from about $30 for the Small to $40 for the Large.  This means that they are pretty affordable, in addition to being well-crafted and high-performing.  It’s hard to find great quality toys at such a reasonable price-point, and the Bootie is a fantastic toy that won’t put a dent in your finances.  I got mine from Aphrodite’s Pleasure, which is a fantastic Aussie sex-toy shop.  They have the individual Bootie plugs or all three together in The Bootie Set which is brilliant value for money if you know you’d like the option of multiple sizes.

I love my Bootie and I truly recommend this for first-time anal explorers or more experienced players.  It’s well-made, comfortable and so sleek.  It’s one of my most-loved toys and one that I keep coming back to over and over.

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Product review: Pure Aluminium Medium Pink by Pipe Dream

When it comes to sex toys, I’m always on the lookout for interesting materials and textures.  So when I saw the Pure Aluminium range by Pipedream I was instantly intrigued.  The range comes in five different colours: purple, pink, blue, silver and gold.  Each colour has three sizes: small, medium and large.  And each toy has a different shape.  There are ribs, bulbs, curves and bumps in a variety of configurations.  After much deliberation, I chose the Pink Medium to try for myself.

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The first thing I noticed when I picked up this vibe is it’s weight.  This is one of the heaviest toys that I own, and that is a very good thing.  I like toys that have a bit of heft to them, and this one feels solid and weighty in the hand.  Despite being the colour of a Barbie convertible, this is one toy that means business.  The shaft of the vibe is rock hard and unyielding.  If you’re craving something that has absolutely no give, then this is the toy for you.

The texture of the Pure Aluminium Pink is one of my favourite aspects of this toy.  It has a defined head, which is ideal for pin-point clitoral stimulation.  In addition to that head, the shaft has another two large bulbs, which feel wonderful during thrusting. Although I’m a lover of textured toys, I find that often my vagina can’t feel small ribs or bumps.  The exaggerated curves and swerves on this vibrator are a whole other story.  I have no problem detecting each bulb as I move it inside me.  It’s a sensation that I love, and one of the reasons that I keep coming back to this toy time and time again.

Another textural feature of this toy is the slippery-smooth finish.  Aside from my glass toys, I’ve never found another vibrator that is as incredibly slick as this one.  It is also ideal for temperature play.  This toy starts out cold to the touch, and can give quite the shock when you first place it against your body.  It quickly warms up to body temperature, and actually feels hot after a short amount of playtime.  The metal holds temperature really well, so you can cool it down or warm it up to provide a variety of sensations.  I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed the feeling of the cool metal against my skin, and although it’s a bit of a shock, it’s so much fun to play with a chilly vibe.

As a dildo for penetration, I love the texture, weight and temperature of this toy.  But what about as a vibrator?  The Pure Aluminium Medium range are all three-speed, battery operated vibrators.  When I picked this toy up, I had moderately low expectations for it’s vibration power.  In my experience, I’ve found battery-operated vibes to be fairly underwhelming in terms of power and longevity.  But I was shocked by how well this vibrator works.

I can scarcely believe that this toy runs on two measly AAA batteries.  The vibrations are strong and powerful, and generally fairly rumbly.  Although there is a touch of buzziness about this vibe, the heft of the material really help to conduct the vibrations, making it feel much stronger than if it were made of silicone or jelly.  The battery life is pretty great with this toy, and it lasts for ages before dying out.  I find it also gives a little warning, slowing down a tad a few minutes before it cuts out.  I’d much prefer this to a toy that just abruptly dies in your palm. The motor is also surprisingly quiet for a battery operated toy.  There are three vibration speeds and no patterns.  I personally quite like this, because i only rarely use the pattern functions on my toys for solo play. The vibrations do get a tad buzzier as they become more intense, but not by much.

The one drawback to this vibrator is the controls.  The Pure Aluminium Medium vibes are controlled with a single push-button on the base of the shaft. You press the toy once to turn it on, and press again to turn the vibration up.  Because of the positioning of the control button, it’s very easy to accidentally push it during play.  I find this really annoying, because I often wind up turning the toy up higher than I want it, or unintentionally turning it off at a crucial moment.  Additionally, I don’t like the fact that you have to cycle through all three speeds before you can turn the toy off.  I prefer toys that have a separate on/off switch so that you can turn it off in a hurry if you are interrupted, or if you want the vibration to cease immediately.

In addition to feeling amazing, aluminium is body safe and super easy to clean. It’s non-porous and can be used with water based or silicone lubricants safely.  The battery chamber of this vibe has a rubber seal, which makes it water resistant, but not water proof.  So you can safely clean it in the sink, just don’t submerge it in water.  I find a quick rinse is usually enough to get this baby sparkling clean.  There are no cracks or crevices where gunk can get caught, which makes cleaning an absolute breeze.

The Pure Aluminium toys are relatively inexpensive, with the Medium vibrators selling for around $40-$50 each.  Based on the performance of my pink model, I’d say this makes them an absolute bargain.  I own some significantly more expensive toys that don’t perform half as well as this one.  For a battery operated vibe that has strong vibrations, a unique texture and loads of possibilities for temperature play, this is a steal. This is a great quality toy that won’t break the bank, which can be used a multitude of ways for hours of sexy fun.

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Product review: Bandelettes.

 I’m a card-carrying member of the Chub Rub Club.  I have generous thighs that touch at the top and generate enough friction to start a fire when I walk long distances.  I like to imagine that my thighs like each other so much that they just can’t keep their hands to themselves. But all this thigh-action can cause some pretty painful chafing. So I’ve been on the lookout for something that will prevent the chub rub.

I came across a product called Bandelettes.  Bandelettes are bands that you wear around your thighs to prevent chafing.  The kind folks at Bandelettes sent me two pairs of their revolutionary thigh bands to try out.

My Bandelettes arrived just as the weather in Benalla reached scorching temperatures.  It was perfect timing and I was eager to take them for a spin.

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The first step to getting the best performance out of your thigh bands is ensuring that you buy the right size.  To do this, you should measure your thighs with a flexible tape at the point where your thighs touch.  Then, refer to the sizing chart to make sure that you select the correct size.  The reason I got two pairs is because I’m on the cusp of size A and B.  The website recommends to size down if you are in between sizes to ensure a snug fit.

I got two different designs and colours.  This design is called Black Onyx. As you can see, the Bandelettes resemble the tops of stay-up stockings.  They are lined with two non-slip silicone strips to help them to stay in place.

This design is called Beige 1004.  My first impression of the Bandelettes was that they are so pretty!  So many shapewear and utilitarian underwear designs are ugly and matronly, but these look downright sexy.  If I happened to be wearing these on a date and things started to heat up, I wouldn’t be at all embarrassed to let my companion catch a glimpse of these.

To wear your Bandelettes, simply pull them up onto your thighs and position them at the point where your thighs touch.  This will be slightly different for every person.  Make sure that the bands aren’t twisted and are lying flat against your skin.

After I’d positioned my Bandelettes, I threw on a maxi dress and headed out for dinner.  I had to walk quite a long way to get to the restaurant, and I didn’t feel so much as a twinge.  The Bandelettes were so comfortable to wear.  They didn’t rub, slip or roll at all.  I was worried that they might make me feel even hotter in the humid summer air, but actually I felt cooler without the friction from my thighs.

The following day I wore my beige Bandelettes to go shopping.  I walked for hours without any chafing.  Once again, the bands didn’t budge at all.  I experienced similar results with both sizes.  The bands were also extremely discreet, and weren’t visible at all under my clothing.  I had been concerned that the lace might create a static effect that would cause my skirt to cling to them, but this wasn’t the case at all.

The bands are very easy to wash and dry.  I hand-wash them with my delicate items and then lay flat to dry.

Bandelettes retail for $14.99 each  and come in a huge range of colours, including black, red, beige, white and chocolate.  There are even unisex bands if you don’t like the feel or look of lace.  The unisex bands would be a perfect addition to your active wardrobe to prevent chafing while jogging or cycling.

I would highly recommend Bandelettes for my fellow members of the Chub Rub Club.  Not only do they look cute, but they work brilliantly too.

These items were provided for my consideration.  The opinions contained in this review are my own honest views.

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Product review: Jurlique Rosewater Balancing Mist

Until now, I’d never tried any of Jurlique’s products.  When my old faithful toner ran out, I decided to treat myself to something a little more fancy-pants than what I’d been using.  After a lot of browsing, I came across Jurlique.  I was smitten by the idea of a rosewater facial toner, and the price wasn’t so huge that I’d be upset if it didn’t work with my skin.  So I decided to give it a go.

DSCF7760The packaging for this product is pure and simple.  It comes in a heavy, opaque white glass spray bottle.  There are no bells and whistles, just sophisticated, minimal packaging.  It’s gorgeous.

The thing that drew me to this toner is the scent.  It’s sweet and floral, as whiffs of marshmallow and rosewater mingle to create a yum-alicious scent that’s fit for a Disney princess.  I can just imagine Princess Aurora sitting at her dressing table as a pair of bluebirds mist her face with this toner.  The scent alone is enough to make me look forward to cleaning my face.

This product doesn’t just smell and look great, it performs brilliantly.  The mist is light, cool and refreshing.  One spray is all you need to tone your entire face.  After using the toner, my skin feels cleaner and fresher.  I’ve been using this for a month now, and I’ve noticed a distinct softness to my skin.  My skin is smooth and supple to touch, and my skin tone seems more even.  In fact, if I were to compare the feel of my skin to anything, it would be akin to the texture of a rose petal.

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The Jurlique Rosewater Balancing Mist has done a great job of keeping my skin looking clear, soft and rosy.  At $35 for a 50ml bottle, I think that the price is reasonable for the quality of the product.  I would especially recommend this product for readers with dry or sensitive skin, ageing skin or those among you who want to appease your inner princess.

*A quick note to readers: I actually wound up purchasing my bottle of toner from Adore Beauty.  Their prices are much cheaper (I paid $39.20 for a 100ml bottle).*