product review

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Product review: Jopen Lust L1

I purchased the Jopen L1 during a fit of curiosity.  I’d seen pictures of several Jopen vibrators online and was intrigued by their unique shapes and sleek designs.  When I saw the L1 on sale at Twisted Toys I snapped one up immediately, eager to take it for a spin.

The first thing that caught my eye was the shape of the L1.  I am a huge fan of sex toys with non-traditional shapes.  While phallic dildos and bullet vibes do the job, I love finding a toy with a shape that makes me go “hmmmmm”.  Why is that?  Well, because non-traditional shapes force you to be creative with your play.  When it’s not obvious how a toy is supposed to be used on your body, it encourages curious exploration and experimentation, which leads to excitement and loads of fun.  If your sex sessions are beginning to look a little samey-samey, then I definitely recommend trying a toy like this that breaks the mould and forces you to try new ways to play.

The shape of this toy is also fairly non-intimidating and gender neutral.  It has loads of interesting features that can be used on a range of different body parts.  Those little antennae are perfect for stimulating nipples or for resting on either side of a clitoris.  Use the bottom bulge to stroke breasts, labia or inner thighs.  The curve works amazingly to cradle a set of balls, and you can then angle either the tickling antenna or the rounded end to massage the perineum.  The L1 is such a versatile toy which can be used in so many ways and I adore that about it.  I’m still finding new ways to play, even after months of experimenting with this toy.

Another reason I enjoy this toy so much is that it works just as well for partnered sex as it does with solo play.  The small size makes it ideal for working my clit when I’m having penetrative sex with my partner.  It’s well-established that the majority of women need some kind of clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and very few people with vaginas can come from penetration alone.  A toy like the L1 is a godsend if you struggle to climax from penetrative sex.

When I first took the Jopen L1 out of the box to charge it, I was a little bit bamboozled.  The toy is completely smooth, with no obvious charging port.  It took a careful examination to notice the pin-prick hole which you poke the charger through.  The L1 comes with a USB charging cable, and it takes about two hours to charge fully.  The battery life of this toy is admirable, and I can get about an hour of playtime on the highest setting at about five on the lowest setting.

The utterly smooth design of the L1 is fantastic.  There are no cracks or ridges to trap lube and fluids and it’s completely waterproof.  In addition to this, the toy is made from velvety-soft silicone which feels amazing and is non-porous.  The body of the toy is nice and firm but the antennae are really flexible and won’t poke your privates.

The L1 is controlled by a single button located on the centre of the toy.  It kind of looks like a little nub sticking out of the belly of the  vibrator.  I can’t overstate how thrilled I am with the controls on this toy.  Firstly, I love that it only has a steady vibration and no patterns.  It’s rare that I use the patterns on my vibrating toys, and I much prefer simple, sustained vibration.  This toy gives me exactly what I want in that regard, with no extra settings to get in the way of my sexy fun.

The actual controls on this toy are unique.  To switch the L1 on, you press the button once.  Then, to turn the vibration strength up, you press and hold the button.  If you click the button once, the toy turns off.  This is very different to most single-button vibrators, which require you to click the button multiple times, cycling through every speed and pattern before you can turn it off.  I love that this toy can be turned off in a hurry with just one click.  Admittedly, it took me a while to get used to holding the button down to increase the speed, and there were several moments of frustration when I accidentally switched the motor off instead.  But once I got the hang of it, I came to love this simple no-frills control interface.

In addition to the brilliant control mechanism, the L1 boasts impressive vibration power.  The vibrations from this toy are strong, rumbly and relatively quiet.  Even the lowest setting is beautifully deep and throbbing. An added bonus with this toy is that the entire thing vibrates. This, coupled with the smooth surface means that you can use every inch of the L1 for play.  For me, this only adds to my excitement, because it means that there are so many different shapes and sensations to experiment with.

I’m a sex-blogger in a long-distance relationship, which means that I usually travel with my sex toys. The Jopen L1 might be the best travel vibrator in my collection.  Firstly, it’s small and lightweight, so it doesn’t take up much space in your bag.  It doesn’t look obviously phallic, so if you get your bag checked at the airport, you aren’t going to be red-faced when the security guard spies it.  Finally, it has a travel lock, which is a must for rechargeable toys to ensure that they don’t start buzzing in your bag. Not only is this potentially embarrassing, but it means that you won’t wind up arriving at your destination with a toy that has jiggled it’s batteries flat during your journey.

The Jopen L1 comes in three colours: pink, purple and green.  I chose the lime green because a) it was totally different from anything else in my toybox and b) It kind of reminded me of a little alien.

My final thumbs-up for this vibrator is the price tag.  The Jopen Lust L1 costs around $100, depending on where you buy it from.  This is astonishingly good value for such a high-quality, rechargeable vibrator.

I can’t recommend the Jopen Lust L1 enthusiastically enough.  It’s versatile, body-safe and excellent value. It works for partnered play and solo sessions and is suitable for every body.  It’s inexpensive and encourages creative sexual play.  I think it just might be my favourite vibrator of all time.

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Product review: Destiny Super Soft by Tantus

My review of this toy begins with a geeky faux pas.  Tantus contacted me a few months ago to inform me of the release of the new Destiny Super Soft dildo and to ask if I’d be interested in trying it.  I replied eagerly that “I’m super keen to try the Density!”  The DENSITY.  Bugger!  I quickly realised that I’d made a George McFly-esque error and sent a second email to apologise.  Luckily the folks at Tantus have a brilliant sense of humour and popped a Destiny in the post for me.

The Destiny made an instant impression on me for a few reasons.  My first thought upon opening the package was “This dildo is flippin’ huge”.  The Destiny is significantly larger than any of the other toys in my collection.  Initially I was slightly concerned for the safety of my pussy, but then I remembered how much I’d enjoyed the Slick, another girthy Tantus toy, and tried to quell my fear.

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The second thing that I noticed was the colour.  Tantus sent me the copper shade, which was a pleasant surprise.  The copper shade is a warm desert tone with just a hint of sheen.  It’s a wonderful change from all the pinks and purples that are abundant in the world of sex toys.  The Destiny is also available in Purple  Haze. The burnished copper shade really sets the Destiny apart from my other toys and gives it an almost regal appearance.

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My final impression of the appearance of this toy was that it was by far the most realistic dildo that I’ve ever owned.  I normally dislike realistic looking sex toys.  I usually shy away from flesh tones, veins and testicles on my dildos.  The Destiny features a pronounced head with a deep coronal ridge.  There is some light vein-like texture on the shaft as well.  And the lower part of the toy is adorned with rounded, plump testicles.  In spite of these details, I wasn’t put off by this toy. I think the copper colour negated the realistic features and stopped the Density looking like an actual cock.  And for that I am extremely grateful.

 

Now, those ‘realistic” features aren’t just for show.  Once I put this toy through it’s paces, I really came to appreciate how functional they were.  The ridged head felt incredible upon penetration.  When I experimented with some initial shallow thrusts, I could feel that ridge popping delightfully against the entrance of my vagina.  And once I got into some deeper play, the head worked my g spot perfectly.  The testicles felt lovely pressing against my perineum, and when I flipped the toy around I realised that they lined up just right with my clitoris.  The Destiny is so much more than a gorgeous toy, it is equipped with loads of stimulating features and potential for creative play.

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The Destiny also features a flared base, which makes it ideal for harness play and safe for anal play.  I can confirm that this is a great harness toy.  The shaft is mounted on the base at an angle, which means that when you wear it in a harness it stands erect and is easy to manoeuvre.

 

Now, I mentioned that the size of this toy was intimidating to me at first.  Well, it didn’t take me long to realise that the Destiny’s size wasn’t as scary as it first seemed. The Destiny clocks in at 4cm diameter, with 12.7 cm of insertable length.  Now, while that seems massive, the texture of the silicone makes this toy much more manageable than it appears.  The Super Soft material is delightfully squishy, and it sort of moulds to the shape of your body. There are no harsh edges or hard textures that hurt or make you feel stretched.  Because the toy is so wonderfully soft, I found it really easy to take. It has a similar softness to the ever-popular jelly toys, while still being firm enough to thrust with.

Unlike those jelly toys, which are usually porous and brimming with pthalates, The Destiny is made of 100% premium silicone.  This means that it is body safe, with no pores that can harbour germs and bacteria.  Silicone is very hygienic and super easy to clean.  You can wash it in the sink with mild soap, or for a deeper clean you can boil your toy or even pop it in the dishwasher.

 

There is really only one thing I didn’t love about the Destiny Super Soft, and that is the texture of the silicone.  The super soft silicone feels really tacky to the touch.  When I took the toy out of the packet, I thought that there must have been some residue on the toy, because it felt really sticky in my hand.  I have noticed that the tackiness goes away when the toy is wet or covered in lube, but as soon as I wash and dry it that unpleasant texture comes back. Unfortunately, this texture also makes the toy a lint magnet, attracting dust and bits of cat fur within moments of being cleaned.  While this isn’t a detrimental flaw, it is the one thing I would change about this toy if I could.

 

The Destiny Super Soft is an amazing dildo, which is perfect if you’re wanting to experiment with larger toys.  The soft texture makes it less intimidating and more comfortable to play with, while still giving you loads of sensation.  It’s awesome if you’re into strap-on play and it’s a great hybrid between a realistic and non-realistic dildo.

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Toy review: Slick dildo by Tantus

Can you believe that Masturbation Month is nearly over and I haven’t written a single toy review?  Well luckily the sweet folks at Tantus sent me the Slick Dildo to test and review for you. So in celebration of Masturbation May, let’s get down to it.

The Slick is one of Tantus’ dual density toys.  This means that it’s got a firm inner core and a soft outer layer.  I’ve never tried a dual density toy before so I was rearing to give these a go.  And boy, they do not disappoint! The Slick is like the lovechild of a rock-hard toy and a jelly-soft dildo. It is firm enough to thrust vigorously but soft enough to feel comfortable and sensual.  It’s like the Goldilocks dildo: neither too hard, nor too soft.  It’s just right.

The Slick comes in two shades: Black and Purple Haze.  I got one of each colour and I adore them both.  I have several purple haze toys from Tantus, including my Silk dildos, and the pearly sheen on the silicone is so pretty.  The black is shiny and dark and looks utterly formidable.  I feel like such a badass when I’m wielding that midnight-hued cock in my harness.  I also adore the fact that this toy doesn’t look like a cock.  Many of Tantus’s dual density toys are realistic-looking dildos.  Which is great if you like realistic toys….but I don’t.  I much prefer toys that look phallic, but not like actual penises.

One of the first things I notice when I put these two toys side-by-side is the difference in sizes.  There is a big leap between the small and the large, and initially I wished that there was a size in between. But once I began playing with the Slick dildos, I realised that each size had it’s distinct advantages.

The small Slick has quickly become my favourite dildo for pegging.  The teardrop-shaped base makes it fit snugly into my harness.  The tapered tip is perfect for gradual, easy insertion and it’s a great size. It’s big enough to provide a good amount of sensation and fullness, but it’s not so massive that it’s intimidating to the person on the receiving end. If your partner has a prostate, the spade-shaped tip and slight curve are great for gentle prostate massage. Because the tip is soft and squishy, it provides a gentle sensation rather than a harsh poke.

When I opened the box and saw the large Slick, I shook my head with disbelief.  I truly didn’t think that this monster dildo would ever fit inside my dainty vagina, let alone feel good while doing so.  I’m on the petite side and I know that my pussy is a tight squeeze. In addition to that, I have a fairly low cervix so I was sure that this dildo would be far too large to be inserted very far.  But, as a dutiful sex geek I was determined to give it a red-hot go.

The Slick Large is the first sex toy to ever make me marvel at what my cunt is capable of.  I know that, in theory, a vagina is able to accommodate a baby, and that there are loads of ladies who love being penetrated by big toys.  But I never expected to be one of them. For years, I was deeply afraid of penetrative play, to the point where I saw a sex therapist. The thought that I would one day be tackling a toy of this magnitude, and loving it, would have been ludicrous to me a decade ago.

The dual density texture definitely helped me to enjoy the feel of this toy.  Even though it’s nice and firm, it has a gentle softness that means it doesn’t feel harsh during play.  The silicone is so smooth, the Slick lives up to it’s name, gliding in and out of your body. The head is nice and squishy, so it never once poked me in the cervix (a horribly un-fun experience that I’ve had with other, more solid, toys).

And that head….can we talk about the head for a second?  The spade-shaped head on this toy is genius. Not only does it make initial penetration easier because it’s tapered, but it is incredible for G-spot play.  If you’re new to G-spotting, I heartily recommend this toy.  The head is so bulbous that it’s nearly impossible to miss your G-spot.  And it’s so soft and malleable that it massages that spot so delightfully, moving with your body and gently compressing with your muscles as you orgasm.

In addition to looking and feeling great, the Slick is made with gorgeously smooth silicone, which means it’s body safe and easy to clean.

I absolutely love the Slick, and it has quickly become one of my favourite toys in my toybox.  While I’m not yet ready to wear the title of Size Queen, I think the large Slick has at the very least made me feel like a Size Princess.

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Product review: Woohoo Body deodorant paste

I recently came across the Woohoo deodorant paste at my local health food store.  I was in dire need of a new deodorant as my previous deodorant had all but given up the ghost.  The lass behind the counter recommended the Woohoo paste and I took it for a spin.

 

I don’t remember the last time I got this excited about a deodorant.  Maybe I’ve never been this pumped about something that gets rubbed on my armpits.  But I want to draw your attention to this product today because I’m hooked on it.

 

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Image from Woohoo Body

 

Deodorant paste is not a concept I was really familiar with before I tried this product.  During my teen years I used aerosol body sprays.  When I started shaving my armpits I graduated to a roll-on to avoid the agony of spraying B.O-basher on my raw pits.  And last year I started using solid stick deodorant.  But this paste was entirely foreign to me.

 

The Woohoo paste comes with a teeny little spatula, which you use to scoop out a pea-sized bit of deodorant.  You then work the paste between your palms and as it warms up it softens up and spreads.  You then rub it into your armpits with your fingers.  Let me tell you, I felt really weird that first morning, massaging the paste into my pits.  But now it’s just a regular part or my morning routine.

 

Before I talk about how the Woohoo paste performs, I should take a time out to talk about the difference between an “antiperspirant” and a “deodorant”.  See, a lot of us use an antiperspirant, which stops you from sweating.  It does this by blocking your pores so the sweat can’t escape.  A deodorant doesn’t stop you from sweating, but it does stop the sweat from smelling bad.  Woohoo deodorant paste is a deodorant, not an antiperspirant.

 

It’s important to make this distinction because I am very used to antiperspirants.  So it was a bit of a shock when I experienced wet armpits while wearing this product.  My first thought was “oh crap, my deodorant’s failed” and I waited for the offensive stench to start wafting from my underarms.

 

But then….the stink never came.  Even though I was sweating, I didn’t smell.  It was fantastic.

 

Now let me tell you, I’ve put this deodorant to the test in some pretty harsh conditions.  I’ve worn it on 40 degree days while I’m hanging out with no air conditioning.  I’ve worn it to a performance review at work.  I’ve worn it to a 12-hour punk concert where I danced wildly for extended periods.  And in all of those situations, my armpits have been stink-free.  In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever found another deodorant that has held up as well.

 

I’ve never had any issues with the deodorant leaving residue or marks on my clothes.  Even when I’m wearing crisp white, it doesn’t leave any stains at all.  Once it’s rubbed into your armpits it’s invisible.

 

I also love the fact that the Woohoo deodorant isn’t heavily scented.  I like to wear perfume and it’s irritating when my deodorant interferes with my scent of choice.  The Woohoo paste has only the lightest scent, which wears off soon after you apply it.  I got the Urban variety, which smells really fresh and breezy, like clean linen.

 

The Woohoo deodorant is kinda on the pricey side.  It’s $17.95 for a 70g pot.  However, I’ve had my pot for three months and I’ve used about a quarter of it.  I reckon one pot will last me a year of daily use.  I usually go through a stick of roll-on deodorant every three to four months.  So this actually works out a tiny bit cheaper in the long run.

 

Best of all, this product is cruelty free and vegan.  So no animals have to suffer for you to be stink-free.  Everybody wins!

 

I really can’t recommend this product highly enough.  I’m so flipping impressed with how well it performs and I just had to tell you all about it.

 

Have you ever tried a deodorant paste?  Did it work for you?

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Toy review: Tantus Rumble

While I love a range of sex toys, I’m definitely a vibrator girl at heart.  There’s something about the steady buzz of a vibe that gets my motor revving in a way that a dildo or a plug never could.  So when Tantus announced earlier this year that they were adding a wand-style vibrator to their line of toys I was chuffed.  The rad folks at Tantus were kind enough to send me the Rumble to test and review.

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The first thing I noticed about the Rumble is how lightweight it is.  Wand vibrators have a reputation for being on the heavy-duty side.  I picked up a Magic Wand at Kink Fest earlier this year and nearly toppled over from the heft of it.  I can imagine my arm wearing out before I was even close to orgasm with one of those monsters!  But the Rumble weighs next to nothing.  It is easily the lightest vibrator in my toybox.  This lightness makes the Rumble ideal for people who have limited mobility in the arms or wrists.

 

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The shape of the head is another thing I love about the Rumble.  While most wands have a rounded shape, the Rumble is flatter on top, almost like a hockey puck.  While I thought this was kind of odd at first, once I began playing I appreciated this shape.  Having a flatter head gives you a lot more options when it comes to sensation.  If you prefer a broader surface area for stimulation, then you can angle the entire top of the head on the area you’re playing with.  With a slight twist, you can use the edge for more pinpointed stimulation. I also like that the head is mounted on a swiveling base.  The base absorbs some of the movement and makes it great for grinding against.  Sometimes when I’m using a vibe for clit stimulation, it can feel like I’m just mashing it against my crotch.  But the Rumble feels more like a massage.  It stays on target and moves with you as you thrust and grind.

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The Rumble has been advertised as ” A vibe for every body”.  It’s meant to be non-exclusive in terms of gender, and it can be used on a range of body types and genitals.  I do think it’s one of the more body-inclusive vibrators that I’ve seen.  It’s not as feminized as a lot of toys on the market, which come in only pink or purple and feature butterfly, floral or heart motifs.  I spent a long time playing with this toy, both alone and with my male partner. I usually use it for clitoral or labial stimulation, but it also feels lovely on nipples.  For folks with penises, it can be nestled snugly behind the balls or run along the penis.  It is light enough to hold against a clit for orgasmic fun during penis-in-vagina sex and it feels great when you buzz the base of an anal plug that’s firmly in place.  It’s also great for solo play with a dildo or on it’s own.

 

In terms of vibration quality, the Rumble lives up to it’s name.  The vibrations are really deep and rumbly.  This toy is relatively quiet, although it does get a bit buzzier on the higher settings.  I’ve read a few reviews that stated that the Rumble is not powerful enough.  Now, the amount of power you want in a vibrator is a very personal thing.  Nobody wants a wimpy little buzz against their clit.  But every body is different and the level of stimulation needed varies hugely across the board.  I’m sure that for some people, the Rumble may not offer the whallop they require.  But for me, it works beautifully.  There are three speed settings and I’ve never gone above “medium” during a play session.  The Rumble is plenty powerful enough for me, and I like quite a lot of stimulation.


Let’s take a moment to look at the control panel on this toy.  The controls are very simple and easy to use.  The power key switches the toy on and off.  The + and – keys allow you to turn the intensity up and down and cycle through the different vibration patterns.  I like having the option of moving back and forth through the patterns, rather than having to cycle through the entire range to get back to the one you accidentally skipped.  I am also a fan of the on-off switch, because it means you can quickly flip the toy off if someone knocks on the door, rather than having to hold down a function button for several seconds.  The controls are conveniently placed so that you aren’t likely to accidentally press them during play.

 

The only thing that disappoints me about this toy is that it doesn’t have a travel lock.  Most rechargable toys have a locking function, so they won’t accidentally start buzzing in your bag (causing embarrassment or worse: a flat battery when you reach your destination).  I am in a long distance relationship and I travel often to visit my partner.  Sadly the Rumble has missed out on every single trip, solely because it can’t be locked.

 

The other downside to the Rumble is that it isn’t waterproof.  While I rarely take my toys into the tub or shower, I do like waterproof toys for ease of cleaning.  It’s so much simpler to be able to dunk a toy in the sink rather than carefully wiping it off.  However, the buttery-soft silicone cover on the head of the Rumble slips off, so you can thoroughly clean this part in the sink.  The head is the bit that gets the dirtiest when I use it, so it’s awesome to be able to wash it under running water.  The handle does get a bit grimy but I’ve found a quick wipe with a cloth is enough to get rid of any residue.  The fact that there are no cracks or crevices for dirt to hide on the handle makes this a relatively easy toy to clean.

 

The Rumble is body safe and great quality.  It retails for $129.99 plus shipping, which is pretty average for a wand-style vibrator.  However, you can use the code NESSBOW15 at the checkout to get a bonus 15%  off your order. Tantus also have a few attachments for the Rumble, which are all made of body safe silicone and offer a range of different sensations.

 

The Rumble has quickly become my go-to vibrator for solo play.  I adore the lightweight design and the deep vibrations. The electric blue shade makes it stand out in my collection, and I really don’t own anything else quite like it.  I truly recommend the Rumble for vibe lovers, anyone who is keen to try a wand style vibe and folks with hand and wrist injuries that find traditional vibrators bulky and difficult to maneuver.

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Product review: Doc Johnson Wonderland vibrators

This past Valentines Day, I chose to treat myself to some sex toys.  I had been eyeing off the Doc Johnson Wonderland range of vibrators for months, and when Wild Secrets had them on sale, I snapped up The Pleasurepillar and The Mystical Mushroom.  When they arrived I could barely contain my glee.  I ripped into the packaging and was floored with wonder.

I was so impressed with the packaging of these vibrators.  The level of detail and sturdiness is akin to what you would find wrapped around a luxury vibrator.  Each toy came packaged in a hard box with a slipcover.  When the cover was slid away, it revealed a gorgeous gold-embossed letter W and the word “Wonderland”.  The boxes have a magnetic closure and the toys were safely nestled inside a perfectly-shaped foam case.  These cases are small enough to use as travel cases to stop your toys switching on in your luggage, or simply for storing your vibrators when not in use.

As if the packaging wasn’t gorgeous enough, the appearance of the toys themselves was breathtaking.  The colours are fantastic, and this line features shades not often seen in the realm of sex toys.  The Mystical Mushroom is a deep royal purple and the Pleasurepillar is a charming turquoise.  The shapes are also unique and exactly what drew me to the toys in the first place.

The Mystical Mushroom features a rounded nub surrounded by a flared disc to look like a mushroom.  It has a lot of interesting textured grooves. I imagined that the tip would be ideal for pinpointed clitoral stimulation, while the rounded edges could feel wonderful against my labia.  I had a different idea in mind for the Pleasurepillar.  I had hoped that it’s hooked end would make it a great G-spot toy, and I imagined that the bumps and bubbles along the shaft would feel excellent during thrusting.

My excitement grew as I pulled the toys from their cases.  Each one is made from a buttery soft silicone.  They feel incredibly smooth to the touch and have very little drag.  This silicone is of the kind of quality I’ve only seen on high-end sex toys, and is so impressive on a mid-range vibrator.  Sadly, the packaging, appearance and texture of these toys are not an indication of how well they perform.

The Wonderland toys are battery operated.  This can often be a stumbling point, as battery operated toys often lack power and you have to worry about having extra batteries on hand during play time.  I’ve had a few battery operated toys that pack a real wallop, but sadly these two vibrators fall flat.  The vibrations are extremely buzzy and don’t feel good against my skin.  During use, they feel more like an annoying itch and tickle than a pleasurable rumble.  Even on the highest setting, I had to really press the toys into my clit to get any real sensation.

While the shape of the toys has great potential in theory, in practice they really miss the mark. The Pleasurepillar was particularly disappointing in this regard, as it was just too short to hit my G-spot squarely.  And once inserted, the vibrations were even further dampened.  It was also very difficult to manipulate the Pleasurepillar for thrusting, as the toy doesn’t really have enough length to allow for a good grip during internal use.

I was also utterly frustrated with the placement of the power button. It is located right on the end of the toy.  This means that it’s incredibly easy to inadvertently push it during play, switching the vibration patterns and ruining your flow.

The vibration patterns were another source of consternation for me.  Each of these toys features ten vibration patterns and three vibration strengths.  This was a huge drawcard for me, but again it fell over in the execution.  For starters, when the toy is switched on, it starts on the highest vibration pattern.  You then click the single button to cycle down to a medium vibration, then again for a low vibration, and then you cycle through the patterns.  Now, when I use a vibrator, I tend to use it on the lowest setting to get warmed up, then slowly ramp up the intensity as I approach orgasm.  I don’t know anyone who goes in the other direction.  And the vibration patterns are varied and interesting, but the lack of power makes them almost indistinguishable on my clitoris.  As far as my clit is concerned, the patterns are just a bland series of flutters and blips.

As a final insult, these toys are an absolute bitch to clean.  The ridges and bumps on the Mystical Mushroom are just a lodging-place for lube and fluid and require scrubbing to get really clean.  Additionally, these toys are only splashproof and can’t be submerged, which makes cleaning even more frustrating.

I was so disappointed with the Wonderland toys.  The packaging and appearance were on point, but the performance was sub-par.  I wish that Doc Johnson would make a more powerful version of these toys, maybe with a bigger shaft.  I would love these shapes and that gorgeous silicone in a toy that actually had enough power to make playtime pleasurable, rather than an exercise in sexual frustration.

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Product review: Doc Johnson Black Rose Blooming Ben Wah Balls.

Right now I’m betting that quite a few of you out there are thinking “What the heck are Ben Wah balls?  Isn’t that a song from the 90’s by Blink 182?”  Well yes, it was, but ben wah balls are more than a punk rock song.  Ben wah balls are basically like dumbells for your vagina. You insert the balls into your vagina and wear them for an extended period of time, using your pelvic floor muscles to keep them in place.  This is supposed to strengthen your kegels, which can lead to stronger orgasms and greater muscle control.  Being the curious little bean I am, I had to snag a set of ben wah balls to try for myself.

I picked up the Doc Johnson Black Rose Blooming Ben Wah Balls on sale quite some time ago.  I’ve had them for about a year now, and I’ve tried them a great number of times.  And I have to come right out and tell you that I don’t like them very much.

 

Let me begin by pointing out a couple of features that I do like about these ben wah balls.  Firstly, they’re silicone, which is my preferred material for sex toys.  It’s body safe, it non-porous, it’s really easy to clean and it feels great.  The silicone on these ben wah balls feels velvety and smooth, which is awesome for such an inexpensive toy.

 

That’s the second thing I like about these ben wah balls.  They aren’t super pricey.  I picked mine up for about $14, and generally they retail for around $27.  This is a good price for a toy that you’re just trying out because if you don’t wind up loving it you haven’t blown a lot of cash.  And ben wah balls are pretty basic, and not generally something that I’d want to spend a lot on.

 

The Doc Johnson Ben Wah Balls are very simple.  They are just two weighted balls each about the size of a marble. They only come in one colour: black.  They arrive packaged in a little velvet pouch.

 

They are also impossible to keep inside me.

 

Let me be frank.  I used these things a lot.  Like, a whole lot.  The first few times I lamented that my kegels must be as slack as a deflated balloon, as the darn things kept slipping out. I tried inserting them further, I tried squeezing my kegel muscles when I felt them slipping, but nothing worked.  It was only after trying another set of duoballs that I realised that  the problem wasn’t my vagina…it was these darn balls.

 

I think the issue is the size-to-weight ratio of these ben wah balls.  They are quite heavy, so when you insert them and then stand up, gravity takes hold and they start moving floor-wards.  The small size means that your vaginal muscles don’t have much surface area to grip onto, so they slip out really easily.  To work more effectively, I think the balls would have to be a bit larger so that your kegels could actually hold them in place or a little lighter so they don’t slip so easily.

 

Now, I know that there are other uses for ben wah balls besides improving your pelvic floor strength.  For example, if you’re into BDsM (as I am), ben wah balls can be a very fun tool.  If you’re a submissive with a vagina, it can be titillating to have your dominant order you to wear ben wah balls for an extended period of time.  Even more so if you are required to wear them while running errands or out on a date.  As fun as that can be, the Black Rose Ben Wah Balls aren’t ideal for this purpose.  They just slip out far too easily for me to be confident wearing them outside the house.  For around-the-house play they could work, particularly if you like humiliation as these are really difficult to keep in place.

 

These ben wah balls can also work nicely if worn during sex in certain situations.  If you are having penis-in-vagina sex with a partner who is not well endowed, popping one or both of these into your pussy first will give you that full-up feeling, as well as being very stimulating for your partner.  They also work nicely for providing extra stimulation during strap-on sex or fingering.

 

Overall, I’m not terribly impressed with the Doc Johnson Black Rose Blooming Ben Wah balls.  They just didn’t work well for my body, and I’ve found a number of better sets of ben wah balls and duo balls.  On the plus side, they are well made and inexpensive, but they just don’t perform as well as I’d hoped.