What I Wore: Too pure to be pink

I think that pretty much everyone has a few “holy grail” wardrobe items that they’ve hankered for.  Things that might be slightly impractical or tricky to find, but that you want all the same.  For me, one thing I’ve always dreamed of owning was a Pink Ladies jacket.  Ever since I saw Grease for the first time, I longed to proudly wear one of those pink satin bomber jackets to proclaim my membership of the coolest girl gang ever.

 

So when a pre-loved Pink Ladies jacket popped up as part of Nerd burger’s annual Instagram closet sale, I nearly swooned with excitement.  I’ve been trying so hard to curb my spending on unnecessary items, but I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to own a Pink Ladies jacket.

 

The jacket is pretty lightweight, so I’ve been waiting for the weather to warm up enough for me to wear it.  I had so much fun styling the jacket.  I wanted the overall look to have a 50’s feel, but to be kinda punk-inspired as well.  I started with seamed stockings and a bodysuit, and added rough animal prints and dainty accessories.

 

I am wearing:

  • Pink Ladies jacket (purchased second hand from Nerd Burger)
  • Black bodysuit from Missguided
  • Black sheer seamed stockings from Voodoo
  • Silver ballet flats (thrifted)
  • Fairest of them All brooch from Erstwilder
  • Dice earrings from Equip
  • Silver signet ring
  • Tiger print mini skirt from Target

 

I opted for bold pink lips and strong winged eyeliner. I felt a little like Debbie Harry with this heavy eye makeup, but I also really enjoyed wearing strong lips and eyes together.  I felt sexy and tough and certainly not too pure to be pink.

 

What are your “holy grail” wardrobe items?

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Game of Thrones makes us ask “What is Sex?”

I’m excited by the discussion that is swirling around the sex lives of two of my favourite Game of Thrones characters: Grey Worm and Missandei.  The Season 7 episode Stormborn ignited a conversation around a topic that I think is extremely important to consider: The way that we define “Sex”.

I still haven’t caught up on season 7 of GoT, but I just HAD to check out the love scene between these two characters so that I could join in the discussion. I saw so many posts online that were asking the question “Grey Worm and Missandei hooked up…..but did they have sex?  And if so, how?”

For those who aren’t fans of Game of Thrones, let me shed a little light on this question.  Grey Worm, as a member of The Unsullied, a ruthless slave army, is a eunuch.  From what I can gather from the series and the books it is based on, in his case this means that he has been fully castrated, with the removal of both his penis and testicles.

 

So when the tender love scene between a castrated man and his female lover aired, a lot of people asked how, if he has no penis, could he possibly have sex with her? And this opened a can of worms around the idea of how we define sex.

 

For me, the discussion surrounding the love scene really highlighted how penis-centric our idea of sex is.  When most of us first learn about sex, we are taught that sex = penis in vagina.  But in reality the definition of sex is so much broader than that.  “Sex” can encompass a huge range of activities, including oral sex, anal sex, digital penetration and stimulation and mutual masturbation.  While there’s no denying that these are all elements of sexual play, our culture still largely views them as foreplay, a lead up to the Main Event of penis-in-vagina sex.  I’ve even heard some people refer to penis-in-vagina sex as “real sex” or “full sex”, which kind of gives the impression that those other sexual acts are less important or have a lower status than vaginal penetration with a penis.

And while some viewers were happy to concede that while Grey Worm could easily provide pleasure to his female partner, that without a penis he’d be bereft of any pleasure of his own.  If Grey Worm has no genitals, then surely any sexual play between him and Missandei will be ludicrously one-sided, cried they.

 

Although Game of Thrones has had some truly questionable sex scenes in the past, I loved the way this scene was shot. It was tender, it was erotic and the desire of both parties was palpable.  I thought it was a wonderful illustration of the ways in which sex can be much more broadly defined.  It showed that the important facet of a sexual encounter isn’t the body parts that are involved, but rather the connection between the partners who are participating.

 

If we think of sex as only including penis-in-vagina penetration, we are selling ourselves short of a world of sexual pleasure.  We are excluding the sexual relationships of same-sex couples, intersex individuals and trans folk who do not participate in penetrative sex.  We discount the sexual connections had by heterosexual men who do not experience erections or sensation in the genitals.  And that cuts out a huge percentage of sexually active humans and relationships.  This narrow idea of what sex is does not serve us. It sets us up for a limited sexual experience and shame if our sex lives don’t match that view.  And so I encourage everyone reading this to take a look at how you think about sex and try to widen that view a little if you currently think that “real” sex only looks like a penis in a vagina.

 

So how might Grey Worm and Missandei have had sex?  Well, we know for sure that there was plenty of kissing and touching, and we saw him go down on her.  Knowing what I know about their anatomies, here are a few other activities that they might have enjoyed together:

  • Grey Worm might have used his fingers or hands to stimulate Missandei’s vulva and clitoris, and may even have penetrated her digitally.
  • Both parties have nipples, which might respond to touch and play.
  • Although Grey Worm doesn’t have external genitals, he probably still has a prostate.  This nerve-packed pleasure spot can be accessed through the anus and can produce orgasm internally.
  • Frottage, or the rubbing of the clitoris against a thigh, hip or pubic mound, could be enjoyed by both parties while still maintaining full body contact and giving them the opportunity to kiss and look at one another.
  • Both Missandei and Grey Worm could have indulged in a sensual massage as a way to explore eachother’s bodies and relax their partner.
  • Regardless of their genitals, everyone has a butt.  And the backside is full of nerve endings which are very responsive to touch with fingers, lips, tongues and toys.

This is just a few examples of the ways that these two characters could give and receive sexual pleasure together.  None of these activities involves a penis in a vagina and all of them count as sex in my book.

I am so chuffed that a program as huge as Game of Thrones has shown such a beautiful sex scene and given fans the opportunity to talk about how we define sex. It’s a super important topic and one that I could chat about for ages.  But I wanted to keep this post relatively short to give you a chance to sit with these ideas and think about where you stand on the definition of “sex”.

 

If you’re up for it, I’d love for you to leave a comment telling me how you define sex.  What counts as “sex” in your book?

Five Fandom Friday: My favourite sequels

Last week I sat down to watch Army of Darkness for the first time.  About ten seconds in, I realised that it was, in fact, a sequel to The Evil Dead.  So I quickly switched over to watch that instead.  But after the tree-molestation scene I was ready to give up.  I decided to just watch Army of Darkness anyway, and in the end it worked out fine because it was really funny and didn’t relate too closely to The Evil Dead.

 

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So I’ve been thinking a bit about sequels this week and I thought it would be a good time to do the 5 Fandom Friday tag: My Favourite Sequels.

  1. Addams Family Values

The cast of the 1990’s Addams family films was flawless.  Anjelica Huston was the perfect Morticia, and Raul Julia was ideal as Gomez.  You couldn’t ask for a better Wednesday than Christina Ricci and Christopher Lloyd is unrecognisable in the role of Uncle Fester.  This film brought together this incredible cast for a second helping of kooky fun, adding in the incomparable Carol Kane as Grandmama (the only role that was recast for the sequel).  The second instalment had just as many laughs and tongue-in-cheek jokes as the first film, and it also features the glorious tango scene- my favourite part from both films.

2. D2: The Mighty Ducks

As a child of the 1990’s I spent a fair chunk of time watching The Mighty Ducks.  Of the three films, I think that the D2 is the strongest.  It introduced some fantastic new characters, such as Julie Gaffney and Dean Portman (Bash Brothers forever!).  Additionally, this movie was less focused on Charlie Conway than the original, which I thought was a blessing because he always irritated me. There was a stronger rivalry between teams and bigger stakes that made D2 a more exciting film than it’s predecessor.

3. Toy Story 3

I went into the cinema to watch Toy Story 3 fully prepared to hate it.  I felt that 10 years was too huge a gap between Toy Story 2 and 3 and I wasn’t sure that it was going to have the same feel as the originals.  Five minutes in and I had completely changed my tune. I thought it was genius that, rather than pretending that no time had passed, Pixar embraced the time lapse and showed us Andy as a young adult, dealing with the dilemma of letting go of his childhood.  It had some emotional moments, and I choked up over and over.  But thankfully there were plenty of laughs as well (the part with Mr Tortilla Head always has me giggling).  Toy Story 3 was so clever and managed to keep the spirit of the original films while still feeling fresh.

4. The Dark Knight

There are not too many sequels that are vastly superior to the original, but this is undoubtedly one of them.  With superhero movies, the first film tends to be on the slow side, because you have to establish an origin story.   But Batman Begins was excruciatingly tedious.  The Dark Knight saved the franchise by introducing us to Heath Ledger’s Joker, a villain who is simultaneously fascinating and piss-in-your-pants terrifying. In my opinion, The Joker is the best part about this film, and his mad plots and creepy voice never fail to capture my attention.

5. The Golden Age

The Golden Age is another sequel that was made a long while after the original film.  It was released in 2007, nine years after Elizabeth.  Elizabeth was the film that kindled my fascination with the Tudor period, and I always felt a bit disappointed that the story ends just as Elizabeth really begins to come into her own as Queen.  So I was delighted when The Golden Age was announced.  As the name suggests, this film tells of the greatest period of Elizabeth I’s reign.  The first film showed us Elizabeth as a young queen, dealing with the question of marriage and struggling to rule as a woman in a man’s world.  In The Golden Age, we see Elizabeth as a confident, competent ruler.  She has already established her image as The Virgin Queen and is about to unfurl some of her greatest triumphs.  The Golden Age shows another side of Elizabeth, the vulnerable woman behind the white mask, struggling with impossible decisions and deep, personal disappointments.  Although I love both films, I feel that The Golden Age beautifully captures the strong spirit of one of England’s most impressive monarchs.

 

What are your favourite sequels?  Are there any on this list that you also love, or any that you’d like to add?

Daily outfit: Blue and BB-8

One of my new years resolutions for 2017 was to make a knitted garment of some kind.  I saw a bunch of boxy knitted jumpers popping up on ASOS and I loved them.  I thought it would be a fairly easy thing to make for my first project.  I managed to whip up this TARDIS blue jumper with a minimum of fussing and I really like it.  It’s nice and warm and super comfortable for lazy days.

I am wearing:

  • TARDIS blue jumper (handknitted)
  • Blue pucci shirt (thrifted)
  • Bootleg jeans from K Mart
  • Dr Martens boots
  • BB-8 enamel pin from Hannah Hitchman Illustrations
  • Skull ring from ASOS
  • Moonstone ring from Lovisa
  • Fleur du Lis ring from Equip
  • Clog earrings (thrifted)

 

 

I topped off this outfit with my new BB-8 pin from Hannah Hitchman Illustrations.  

I have been obsessed with enamel pins lately and I bought a few as a little treat right before my birthday.  This dude is adorable, and I love that he’s doing the “thumbs-up” pose with his lighter.

I wore this outfit for a run to the shops, reading on the lawn and loads of decluttering.

Five Fandom Friday: My to-be-read pile

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One of my new years resolutions was to get my to-be-read pile under control.  The top of my bookcase in my bedroom is a dedicated space where I keep the books i have yet to read.  However, that orderly pile has begun spilling from between my bookends, and the overflow has formed two additional stacks. This simply won’t do!  I am trying to make time to read more as well as attempting to curb my urge to buy every interesting-looking book that catches my eye.  This is proving challenging, particularly as I often feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of choices each time I begin a new book.

 

So I felt that this 5 Fandom Friday Prompt was timely and served two purposes.  Firstly, it will help me identify five books that I am most looking forward to reading and secondly, it will give you a glimpse at my reading material.  Let’s make a start.

 

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  1. The Lady of the Rivers by Philippa Gregory

I’m obsessed with Tudor history and historical fiction set in this era always piques my interest.  I am a fan of Philippa Gregory’s novels, because I think she does a brilliant job creating strong connections to her characters and it’s fun to imagine what it might have been like to live during those times.  The Lady of the Rivers focuses on Jacquetta of Luxembourg, Henry VII’s grandmother in law.  Jacquetta was a formidable woman and possibly a witch.  I have already read The Red Queen and The White Queen, and Jacquetta was a background character in each of those stories.  I’m really looking forward to reading a story with her at the forefront.

 

2. According to Yes by Dawn French

I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to sit down with this book, because each of Dawn French’s other books has barely lasted a week on my shelf before I’ve torn into it. I absolutely adore her characters and her witty yet heartfelt writing style.  From the cryptic blurb on the back, I get the impression that this is going to be a tale of self-indulgence and finally breaking free after a lifetime of denying ones own impulses.  And it sounds very juicy indeed.

 

3. The Shepherd’s Crown by Terry Pratchett

There’s a reason why this book has been sitting on my shelf for such a long time.  Terry Pratchett is my favourite author, and this is the final book that was published after his death.  I have been trying to work up the courage to read it, because I know that it’s going to be emotional, almost like saying goodbye to a close friend.  The Shepherd’s Crown features one of my favourite Pratchett characters: Tiffany Aching.  Tiffany is a young witch who is steely and fierce yet still has all the vulnerability of a teenager.  I know I’m going to love this book, but it breaks my heart that once this one is done, there are no more new Pratchett books left to read.

 

4. The Colour Purple by Alice Walker

Since seeing the film several years ago, I have been burning to read The Colour Purple.  The copy on my shelf is battered and dog-eared, having been purchased from a tiny book stall in Melbourne.  This story of two sisters in the Deep South, facing unimaginable oppression and fear, promises to be moving and poignant.

 

5. Aimee & Jaguar by Erica Fischer

A true story of two women who fell in love in Berlin in 1942, and the gut-wrenching realities that pulled them apart.  I have been searching for more queer fiction to add to my literary menu, and this story has been on my to-read list for quite some time.  I am truly looking forward to being transported back in time by the words and pages, and walking with the two title characters as they discover one another and develop their love.

 

What have you been reading lately?  What’s on your to-read pile?

American Horror Story: Roanoke style

I have just finished season 6 of American Horror Story and I was completely blown away.  This season was so stylistically different from every incarnation of the show that has come before.  From the way it was presented, to the storytelling and the visual style, Roanoke was grittier, darker and more haunting than the last few seasons of AHS.  I also noticed that the costumes for this season were vastly different from what we’ve seen in the past couple of years from American Horror Story.  After the flash and panache of Freak Show and the vintage decadence of Hotel, Roanoke delivered a set of looks that seemed older, more careworn and somewhat grimier than it’s predecessors.  I thought I’d jump in and take a look at five characters from the series that I liked the most and create a look for each one of them. Starting with the baddest bitch of them all…

The Butcher

The Butcher

The Butcher was one of the most chilling villains AHS has produced.  She’s utterly brutal, single-minded and unconcerned about the prospect of getting blood under her fingernails.  Her look is utilitarian and harsh, with a few feminine flounces left behind from her former life as a proud lady of England.  Colours are muted and stark, boots are scuffed and accessories are few for this terror of the blood moon.

 

 

Shelby

Shelby

 

Shelby’s look is pure yoga chic.  Comfort is the name of the game, with relaxed cuts and breathable fabrics aplenty.  Choose a form-fitting tank top and yoga pants and layer over a poncho or wrap for adventures off your yoga mat.  Flat shoes are best to maintain contact with Mother Earth, especially if you find yourself traipsing through the woods.  Shelby doesn’t wear a lot of jewellery, but I couldn’t resist these molar earrings, which reminded me of one of the scenes that squicked me out the most.

Cricket Marlowe

Cricket Marlowe

 

Cricket is the epitome of minimalism.  His monochrome look embodies dark colours and body cuts and the end result is striking and powerful.  I’ve added the barest of nods to Cricket’s psychic gift with this horoscope-themed bag.  The blood red pendant is the perfect reference to the blood moon, which is the most dangerous time for the inhabitants of the Roanoke house, as Cricket finds out.  Rather than copy Cricket’s white shag haircut, I recommend topping off the look with a mystical turban.

Scathach

Scathach

 

One of the more mysterious characters in the Horror Story universe, Scathach has an earthy, feminine style.  Her clothes are old fashioned cuts, remnants left from her life before she became the witch of the forest.  Earthy tones and natural materials are woven together to create a look that is both arresting and slightly sexy.  The corset lacings and bare decolletage are enticing, but the long skirts and boots keep the look grounded.  Scathach wouldn’t be complete without her crown of antlers, and a still-beating heart to offer her subjects.

Audrey Tindall

Audrey Tindall

 

Audrey’s style is deeply romantic, with elements of 70’s vintage and Victorian era lace collars.  She tends to wear long lines, high necklines and sweeping sleeves and skirts.  Her makeup is minimal and shoes are pretty yet functional. She is utterly elegant, favouring drop earrings which show off her long neck and delicate features to perfection.  And of course, she wouldn’t even leave the horrors of the Polk farm without her wedding ring. What a romanic!
Have you watched Roanoke yet?  What did you think?  Did you have a favourite look from the series?
Psst!  If you liked this post, you may also be interested in checking out my AHS: Coven Style post.

Things I Love Thursday 5/1/2017

Happy Thursday gorgeous-face!  I hope that the first week of 2017 was smashing and that you’ve got lots to be smiling about.  Because I sure do!  Here we go…

This week I love:

  • Grill’d.  I have been a fan of their burgers for years, but this past week they won me over completely.  I called into Grill’d at Southern Cross Station to grab some dinner on New Years Eve.  I chose the Field of Dreams burger, minus the cheese and mayo, and sat down to wait for it.  While I was waiting, one of the chefs approached me and asked if I was vegan.  She had noticed my docket and wanted to check because the pesto on the burger also had parmesan cheese on it.  She made a bunch of vegan-friendly suggestions and together we build the most delicious burger on the planet.  I was so appreciative of her assistance.  As a new vegan, it can be hard to know what to order in restaurants and so it was awesome to have someone help me out.
  • Rogue One.  Wowza, I was not prepared for the amazingness of that film.  David and I went to see it last week (on the same day that Carrie Fisher’s passing was announced.  *sob!*) and I was blown away.  It was crazy good.
  • Kitty head-boops
  • American Horror Story: Hotel.  I’ve been blazing through this series and I’m enjoying it a great deal.  I’m addicted to Gaga’s glamorous costumes and the art deco styling of the Hotel Cortez is making me drool.  The story is pretty good so far, and reminds me more of season one in the way it’s been jumping around in time.  I plan to finish it off over the next day or so.
  • Yarn shopping.
  • My herb garden.  I’ve got three plants growing strong, and I can’t wait for them to get big enough for me to start using them in my cooking.
  • Frozen cola slurpees
  • Raspberries
  • Crop tops
  • Throwing away a stack of threadbare bed sheets and frayed towels.  I no longer need to fight my way into my linen cupboard every time I need something.
  • Cool breezes through the open windows of an evening.

What do you love this week?