New years resolution update: September

I was kind of dreading this month’s resolution: date outside the box.  When I made my resolutions at the beginning of the year, I was in a long-term relationship and I was feeling very secure.  I was excited by the idea of trying some fun new activities with my boyfriend.

Fast forward six months, and I found myself single and very unhappy about it.  I thought about leaving this resolution to fester, because I couldn’t carry it out in the way I’d originally hoped to.

Then I decided to take another look at how I could meet this challenge.  I realised very quickly that the possibility of dating someone else was out of the question.  I’m not saying that I never want to be in another relationship.  But I was with Ross for nearly a decade.  He was the man I had hoped to marry, and I’m still feeling very bruised by the end of our relationship.  I find it very difficult to even imagine opening up to another man, and it’s hard for me to believe that there might be another person out there for me.  I’ll never say never, but the simple fact is that I’m definitely not ready to start dating other people.

DSCF8370So what’s a girl to do when she’s single and has no interest in trying to attract a new boyfriend?  I figured my best bet was to try to date myself.

I sat down and made a list of all the different things I could do by myself that would be romantic.  I made a huge list, thinking of all the things I imagined my ideal partner would do for me.  Then I set out to do those things for myself.

I took myself out for a dinner of Italian food, complete with tiramisu and wine.  I went out for brunch.  I took a moonlit walk through my neighbourhood.  I soaked in rose-scented bubbles by candlelight.  I watched movies on the couch with boutique beer and fancy chips.  I bought myself a couple of cute treats.  I went thrift-shopping and walked around the lake.

DSCF7998I think I succeeded with this month’s resolution.  I definitely pushed myself outside my comfort zone and put a lot of effort into treating myself well.  All this self-romance has made me feel a lot less lonely, and I’m quite proud of how well I’ve been doing. I feel a bit more confident and happier spending time in my own company.  It’s also helped me to face some of the less-than-perfect elements of my previous relationship.  For example, while I was eating out by myself I realised that I no longer had to put up with Ross playing with his iphone at the table, or trying to force a conversation out of him (he hated having conversations in public, so our dinners out often felt a bit awkward).  While I do still miss him, it’s kind of nice to be able to see some of the not-so-great parts of our relationship to help me move forward a bit.

I’m feeling pretty good about myself at the end of this month.  I’ve done a good job with this resolution.


    • Exactly! It really gave me an opportunity to reassess the things that I love doing, rather than the things that I would usually do on dates because it was a compromise with my boyfriend. I had a lot of fun romancing myself. So much so that I’ve decided to make it a regular thing.

  1. That’s such an awesome, take charge approach to dating. Why the notion persists that a date hasn’t to entail a second person is beyond me. When I was single, I loved saving up a bit and treating myself to occasional outings like that. I found they really helped lift my spirits and I never felt sorry for myself or like I was lacking company while on them. You rock, girl – singles the world over should read this post and follow your lead.

    ♥ Jessica

    • Thank you so much for saying this. I actually had a lot of fun carrying out this resolution, although I was so nervous at the beginning. I realised what great company I actually am!

    • Thank you. I’m feeling pretty proud of myself actually. It wasn’t easy, but I felt it was really important for me to at least give it a try. I’m so pleased that I did.

    • Thank you. I was really dreading this month because I didn’t know how I was going to manage this resolution. It was pretty intimidating to begin with, but I wound up really enjoying myself.

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