I’ve run out of scheduled posts to tide me over my post-separation malaise. Today I actually forced myself to get dressed, put on makeup and do something with my hair. I thought it would be worth sharing this achievement with you.
– Maroon Miss Shop jumper (thrifted)
– Blue jeans from Target
– Gold tone rock ring from ASOS
– Amber earrings (gift from my grandmother)
– Blue suede heels from Tony Bianco
I wore this outfit to do some painful relationship things like cry and write fourteen pages in my journal. Then I also did some nice things like watch Misfits and walk in the park. Obviously, I didn’t wear these shoes for that portion of the day.
I’m not going to lie to you. I feel pretty shitty right now. I thought that getting dressed in something somewhat stylish might help. Ha! How silly of me. When your ex-partner is half a world away and all you want to do is cry and rewind time, it takes more than a well-cut pair of jeans to make you feel better. Oh well, at least I gave it a shot.
It feels so weird to write the words “break up”. I’m not even sure what to call it. I think I’m more comfortable using the term “separated” because at least that gives me hope that perhaps the situation isn’t permanent. I don’t even really know what I should be doing right now. Should I be hoping and praying that we get back together? Should I be ranting and raving and focussing on all of his shortcomings? Should I be pretending to be fine? Should I stay or should I go? I feel like my life is in shambles right now.
So this is probably the ranty-est daily outfit post I’ve ever done. But at least it was honest. Right now I’m just trying to pick myself up and do what I can to move forward, whatever that might mean. And I do believe that I managed a hint of a smile in that last photo. Do you see it? It’s just a little one, but it’s definitely there. That’s something at least.