I’ve run out of scheduled posts to tide me over my post-separation malaise.  Today I actually forced myself to get dressed, put on makeup and do something with my hair.  I thought it would be worth sharing this achievement with you.

I am wearing:

– Maroon Miss Shop jumper (thrifted)

– Blue jeans from Target

– Gold tone rock ring from ASOS

– Amber earrings (gift from my grandmother)

– Blue suede heels from Tony Bianco

I wore this outfit to do some painful relationship things like cry and write fourteen pages in my journal. Then I also did some nice things like watch Misfits and walk in the park.  Obviously, I didn’t wear these shoes for that portion of the day.

I’m not going to lie to you.  I feel pretty shitty right now.  I thought that getting dressed in something somewhat stylish might help.  Ha!  How silly of me.  When your ex-partner is half a world away and all you want to do is cry and rewind time, it takes more than a well-cut pair of jeans to make you feel better.  Oh well, at least I gave it a shot.

It feels so weird to write the words “break up”.  I’m not even sure what to call it.  I think I’m more comfortable using the term “separated” because at least that gives me hope that perhaps the situation isn’t permanent.  I don’t even really know what I should be doing right now.  Should I be hoping and praying that we get back together?  Should I be ranting and raving and focussing on all of his shortcomings?  Should I be pretending to be fine?  Should I stay or should I go?  I feel like my life is in shambles right now.

So this is probably the ranty-est daily outfit post I’ve ever done.  But at least it was honest.  Right now I’m just trying to pick myself up and do what I can to move forward, whatever that might mean.  And I do believe that I managed a hint of a smile in that last photo.  Do you see it?  It’s just a little one, but it’s definitely there.  That’s something at least.