Overcoming heartbreak.

DSCF6874Heartbreak.  It’s a horrific mixture of sadness, disappointment, anger and despair.  There are so many moments in our life when you might feel heartbroken.  Perhaps someone you loved didn’t feel the same way about you.  Perhaps you missed out on an incredible job opportunity.  Maybe you have to deal with the fact that something you desperately wanted may never be yours.  Whatever the cause, one thing’s for sure: heartbreak sucks.

As awful as you feel, I promise you that you can get through it.  Here are a few words of wisdom to help you overcome your heartbreak.

It’s O.K to feel bad.

So many people make the mistake of thinking that if you’re feeling bad about something, the first thing that you should do is cheer yourself up.  Wrong!

If something awful has happened, it’s alright to feel bad about it.  It’s perfectly fine to feel sad, angry, frustrated, desperate, disappointed or any combination of the above.  Rather than beat yourself up for feeling this way, or trying to shake yourself out of it, just let yourself feel it.  Take the time to be sad, to cry or rage.  It’s O.K.  If you deny yourself the chance to feel your emotions and try to gloss over them, they won’t just conveniently fade away.   It will take so much longer to heal if you try to bounce back too quickly.  Don’t wallow in your heartbreak, but give yourself permission to feel crummy for a while.

Lean on your loved ones.

When you’re feeling heartbroken, one of the best things you can do is turn to those who love you.  Talk to your best friends, your partner, your family.   If you don’t feel like talking, just spend some time with them.  Ask one of them for a hug if that’s all you need.  Don’t worry that you’re imposing on their time or bothering them.  These people adore you and they’re happy to help out in times like these.

Take care of yourself.

I know that you probably feel like curling up into a ball and never leaving your bedroom.  You can do this for a day or two if need be.  But after that, you need to look after yourself.  Your mind can’t get better if you’ve let your body go to ruin.  Try your best to eat well, get a little fresh air and sleep as much as you need.

Don’t hide yourself away.

When you’ve had a hard knock, it can be tempting to go into hermit-mode.  It’s rough when you feel as though your world has been devastated, and everything else seems to be carrying on as normal.  You might feel like hiding away from the world, but the longer you do this the worse you will feel.  As soon as you can go a day without bursting into tears, it’s time to rejoin the world.  Start slow, and work your way up to heading out more often.

View it as an opportunity.

As Lisa Simpson once said, “The Japanese use the same word for crisis as they do for opportunity”.  I don’t know if that’s true, but it’s a good thing to keep in mind when your heart has been broken.  Although you feel as though things are a mess, this setback may actually be an opportunity to move on to better things.  Ending a bad relationship gives you a chance to become more independent, or to meet someone more worthy of your love.  Losing your job is a chance to look for one that’s even better, or re-evaluate your dream career.  Try to see the opportunities that spring from this crisis.

Be gentle.

Don’t be too harsh on yourself when you’re going through a heartbreak.  It can be easy to get caught up in all the things that you ‘should’ be doing.  There have been times when I’ve thought to myself, “It’s been months since that awful thing happened, shouldn’t I just be over it already?”  Don’t rush yourself, or push yourself into things you aren’t ready for.  Speak to yourself with kind words and take things one day at a time.

Have you ever had your heart broken?  How did you recover?

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