The Nessbow Dictionary

 

Everyone builds up their own vocabulary over time. Even though we may all speak the same language, the way each person speaks is unique. We incorporate slang terms that are popular in our social group, adopt words that we have read or heard in pop culture and terms of phrase established in our family setting. I have compiled my very own dictionary, complete with many of the words and turns of phrase that I often use in conversation. I am very aware that many of these are pop culture references, and a few of them have come from my family. Several of them are things that I have made up or picked up in a variety of places. This is a comprehensive guide to my way of speaking.

 

B-Town Rock City (n): Benalla.

Back-butt: an unfortunate condition where a person has a very small, flat derriere, such that their backside and their back seem to be indistinguishable.

Bajingo (n): vagina.

Baps (n): Breasts.

Bast-hole (n): an obnoxious or unpleasant person.

Bee’s Diaphragm (adj): a miniscule amount.

Bitch-a-rooty-dooty: A woman who is obnoxious, irritable or mean.

Blurst (adj): worst.

Courtney Lovely (adj): a word used to describe a woman who is sluttily dressed and poorly made up. Eg: ‘She looks Courtney Lovely”.

Cranky Pants: a person who is irritable or annoyed. May be extended to “to be wearing one’s cranky pants too tightly’.

Craptastic (adj): 1. Terrible or awful. 2. Of poor quality.

Diablo Cody: a feminist who hates men and wants them all to die, but will settle for putting them all down.

Dodgy Plonk: poor quality alcohol, usually wine.

Doo-Lally (adj): 1. Drunken. 2. Slightly odd or eccentric.

Elephant feet: a person with a very heavy walk or gait.

Face-smash: 1. When a cat or other animal rubs their face against yours as an affectionate gesture. 2. Kiss.

Fot: fucking hot.

Fucktard (n): a person of questionable intelligence.

Fudge: 1. Fuck. 2. A sweet, caramel-like confectionary.

Fugtacular(adj): something that is ugly or unattractive.

Fungry: fucking hungry.

Fuss (n) pronounced to rhyme with “puss’. Cat.

Harry High Pants (n): a person who wears their pants pulled up to their armpits.

Have a bash: to try one’s hand at something.

Holy Krump: An exclamation signaling surprise or anger.

Hot Toddy (n): any kind of alcoholic beverage that is served hot. NB: I am aware that there is a specific cocktail called a Hot Toddy, but I don’t know how to make it, so I just call any hot alcoholic drink a Hot Toddy.

Joe John Johnston: used to describe a person who’s name you have forgotten or do not know.

Krump: 1. Penis. See also: Holy Krump and What the Krump?

Kug: A violent hug, or “Kill-Hug”.

Kurts (n): Converse Chuck Taylor All Stars sneakers.

Lady garden: a woman’s pubic hair.

Lolacaust: something which is highly amusing.

Man-date (n): When two men in a plutonic relationship meet for dinner, a film or another activity traditionally enjoyed by couples.

Man-tanti(n): when a man becomes infuriated or frustrated and expresses his emotions in a sudden, violent outburst.

Marilyn Monroment (n): a phenomenon in which a woman is walking down the street and a sudden gust of wind blows her skirt up.

Mullet pronounces Mool-ay. A woman’s hairstyle that features a long fringe and tail, but short sides, that is often gelled, fluffed or curled.

Munted: 1. drunken. 2. broken beyond repair.

Night-Time Tingle Times (v): masturbation.

Nom: to eat.

Not feeling well (adj): Drunk.

Nurple: nipple.

One-woman Mexican wave: a celebratory gesture in which a woman (or man) quickly stands up from her seat, waves her hands above her head and then sits down again. It is usually accompanied by a joyous squeal.

Peep (n): Penis.

Pish: a dismissive exclamation.

Plomise (n): a promise that one does not intend to keep.

Plumduff: a person who is stupid or silly.

Pod Person (n): a person who is seen perpetually wearing an ipod, who rarely engages with the outside world.

Racing-track blusher: An unfortunate phenomenon in which a woman wears rouge in two diagonal stripes down the sides of her face.

Scoutch (adj): a miniscule amount. Is pronounced to rhyme with “coach”.

Shake it like a Polaroid picture: to dance wildly.

Shlurp: 1. To drink. 2. The noise made whilst drinking.

Shonky (adj): of poor quality.

Smash out (v): To complete a task as quickly as possible.

Smoosh: 1. to mix two things together. 2. to squash.

Snarky: annoyed or irritable.

Splishy-sploshy: generally a request to pour one a drink

Squidge (v): 1. to hug tightly. 2. to squash something.

Testeclods (n): testicles.

Tired and emotional (adj): drunk

To go A over T (v): to fall over (to go ‘arse over tits’).

Tomorning (adv): tomorrow morning.

Twelfty (adj): a number of indiscriminate quantity. Eg. “How many cookies did you eat?”, “Oh, about twelfty”.

Twi-hard: a Twilight fan.

Vegier than thou: 1. a vegetarian who is judgmental of non-vegetarians. 2. a vegetarian who is competitive about their level of vegetarian-ness.

Wang (n): 1. Penis. 2. Wangaratta.

What the Krump?: What is going on?

Wibbly (adj): 1. wobbly or unstable. 2. queasy.

Whizzer (n): Penis.

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