What I wore: no capes

It’s been a couple of years since my last cosplay.  After a stint as Tank Girl at Supanova I unintentionally took a hiatus from cosplay.  I didn’t make a conscious decision not to do it anymore, I just no longer felt excited about creating and wearing costumes.  But recently I started feeling the itch to cosplay once again.  And Free Comic Book Day presented the perfect opportunity to rock a new character costume

I’ve got a short list of characters I want to cosplay, and Edna Mode from The Incredibles was at the top of that list.  I adore Edna’s super sharp style and lightening wit.  Like so many cartoon characters, her look is simple but instantly recognisable and pretty easy to translate into a cosplay costume.

Naturally, an all-black ensemble was vital.  Edna’s outfit has an armoured look to it, and it’s very structured.  I chose this heavily sequinned dress for the bell-shaped skirt and the rough texture.  I added leather-look pants with pleated details on the knees and thighs for a tough look.

I actually bought new glasses specifically for this costume.  These are the 7001 from Derek Cardigan.  I normally go for very square or cats-eye glasses, but Edna’s frames are extremely round and heavy.  I actually really like the way these frames look and they’ve become my go-to glasses lately. It’s great to step outside your comfort zone and wear something you haven’t tried before.

Edna’s makeup was kind of tricky, because in The Incredibles she doesn’t appear to be wearing makeup. I kept my look polished and fresh, making my brows heavier and doing some more extreme contouring that I do for day-to-day.  I contoured my cheeks and around my mouth to make me look a little more jowly and shaped my nose to be a tad rounder to recreate the shape of Edna’s face. I kept my lips light with a slick of nude lipstick.

 

I picked up so many new comic books on Free Comic Book Day.  My favourite offerings were The Mall, which was a very nostalgic 80’s teen romance mixed in with a crime story.  Crush was gorgeous, a tale of a young man dealing with his first crush and I really enjoyed the lightheartedness of the Adventure Time Fiona and Cake story.  Naturally, I loved Tank Girl as well.  And the artwork in Street Angel’s Dog was unlike anything I’ve seen before.

After a very long day of standing in line, waiting in stifling shops and lugging bags of books I was grateful to jump on the train back to my boyfriend’s house.  He’s never seen me in cosplay before so that was a hilarious first for us.  I was ready for a long shower, a shampoo and a Marvel movie with the man I love.

 

I loved being Edna for the day and allowing myself to jump back into cosplaying.  I felt a bit disappointed with myself when I lost interest in cosplaying, because it used to be something that brought me so much joy.  But sometimes we grow out of hobbies that we used to love.  And sometimes we just need some time and distance, and suddenly our interest bubbles up again and we get to become reacquainted with that fun and creativity that we used to know.  And when that happens, it’s an awesome feeling.

Advertisements

Product review: Stainless steel princess plug

I started my butt-play adventures with a slim dildo and a small silicone plug.  After countless joyful sessions with each, I felt ready to move onto something more daring.  When I spotted this stainless steel butt plug at Kinkfest I knew it was just the toy I was looking for.  My decision was sealed when I caught the glitter of a giant purple jewel beaming on the base of the plug.  This royal toy was fit for a princess!  I gleefully took my new plug home to play.

I’d been keen to try a stainless steel toy ever since I’d read Erika’s review of the Njoy Pure Plug on Oh Joy Sex Toy.  The idea of wearing something metal inside your butt was more than a little intimidating to me, but it also tickled my curiosity until I knew that I just had to give it a go. And so, armed with a vibrator, my plug and plenty of lube, I embarked on my royal buttplug adventure.

The most noticeable feature of this plug is it’s temperature.  When you pick it up in your hand, that bad boy is freezing.  Inserting an icy-cold plug is a unique experience, and one that I didn’t find at all unpleasant. It’s a totally new sensation that wakes up all of those super sensitive nerve endings in your anus and makes them very receptive to touch.  After a short while, the steel warms up to your body heat, which feels amazing once it’s inside.  Unlike silicone plugs, steel plugs conduct temperature beautifully which makes them ideal for temperature and sensation play.

In addition to being cold, stainless steel is also wonderfully slick and smooth.  The surface of this toy has absolutely no seams or marks which means it’s easy to insert and comfortable to wear. There are no rough edges to irritate your backside and it offers very little resistance or drag.  It doesn’t dry out your lube like silicone toys tend to, which means you can play comfortably for longer.

I’m a huge fan of the shape of this plug.  It has a traditional teardrop shape, with a pointed tip flaring out to a rounded body, getting gradually wider.  Then at the widest point, it nips in again to a very narrow stem and flared base.  This shape has a number of benefits.  Firstly, that pointed tip is ideal for warming up the anus, ready for play.  It’s a nice small surface that you can press gently against the opening while you wait for it to relax.   The gradual widening of the body allows you to gently ease the toy into your backdoor, without feeling forced or tight.  I am especially impressed with the narrow stem.  I find plugs that allow your anus to accept the toy and then close behind the widest part to be the most comfortable for long term wear.  If the stem of the plug is too thick, it can result in a stretching sensation that isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.

The princess plugs are definitely heftier than a silicone butt plug.  Stainless steel is rigid and heavy and that weight is obvious when you are wearing the plug.  When standing or walking, it puts gentle pressure on the opening of the anus, the location of many sensitive nerve endings.  This weight and pressure feels amazingly pleasurable without being too intense.  The rigid material gives you a really full feeling, even though the plug itself isn’t very large.  In this way, stainless steel offers a uniquely sensual experience that I’ve never had with any of my silicone plugs.

This toy has a number of uses.  Firstly, it’s a good warm-up for more intense anal play.  Secondly, it’s fun to wear for more extended periods to increase arousal and draw your attention to your butt.  Like wearing a pair of ben wah balls, walking around with a plug in has a feeling of delicious taboo, like  you have a secret that nobody else knows about.  Finally, I love wearing this plug during penetrative play.  The rigid material and sloped shape help to narrow your vaginal canal, so penetration feels tighter and more intense.  The angle of the toy also directs your partner’s penis or dildo towards your g-spot.  If you struggle to stimulate your g-spot during penetrative sex, then wearing a butt plug during sex could be a fun solution.

I also adore the base of this plug.  When inserted, that little gem looks adorable sparkling between my butt cheeks.  It’s like arse jewellery!  The base is wide enough to stop the toy venturing further than it should, but small enough to nestle between the folds of your backside so that it’s not obtrusive and uncomfortable.

Stainless steel is an amazing material for butt toys because it’s non porous and easy to clean.  It won’t harbour any smells and there is no place for bacteria to get trapped and fester.  You can easily clean it in the sink with warm water and gentle soap.

I purchased my princess plug from Black Peaches, an Australian vendor who is sadly no longer operating. However there are a number of similar plugs on the market.  DDlg world has a range of stainless steel plugs, including ones with heart-shaped jewels, ones with tails attached and adorable rosebud adornments.  You can use the code NESSBOW to get 10% off your order at DDlg world, which makes these plugs super affordable.  If you”re interested in something at the higher end of the scale, Lucent makes a very beautiful jewel accented plug with chrome plating.

What I wore: Come up to the lab, and see what’s on the slab

When Erstwilder announced that they were releasing a Rocky Horror-themed collection I was beyond excited.  The Rocky Horror Picture Show is one of my all time favourite films, and I adore the aesthetic of the movie.  I had no doubt that Erstwilder would do an amazing job of translating that vibe into a line of jewellery.

 

Overall I wasn’t super impressed with the Rocky Horror collection.  Unlike the Grease collection that came out last year, I thought that this collection lacked range.  There were a lot of “portrait” style brooches and fewer conceptual pieces that evoked the general feel of the film.  I felt like this collection was a lot more literal, with more actual representations of characters rather than subtle winks to the theme. There were a couple of pieces that I just flat out didn’t like (such as the Riff Raff brooch) and some that were kind of cute, but that I wouldn’t personally wear (such as the Damn It Janet nameplate necklace).  I ended up getting two brooches from the collection: the Dr Frank  and the Science Fiction Lips.

I thought long and hard about what to wear Dr Frank with for his maiden voyage.  And I thought he’d be most at home amid a sea of kisses, leather look trousers and sky high heels.

I am wearing:

– Dr Frank brooch from Erstwilder

  • Kisses blouse from Target
  • Leather look jeans from TK Maxx
  • Red rose heels (thrifted)


I bought these jeans a few weeks ago to use as part of a cosplay costume. I’ve fallen head over heels for them.  I never expected that I’d want to wear a pair of leather-look trousers, but these are just so freakin’ comfortable.  They fit like a second skin and they stretch and move with you.  They’re also incredibly warm so I expect they’ll become a part of my winter wardrobe.  They’ll be perfect for pairing with teeshirts or vintage blouses for a tough edge.  I  love them.

Did you snap up any of the Erstwilder Rocky Horror collection? Which pieces were your favourite?

How to stop menstrual cup leaks

I had a question from a reader a few weeks ago about menstrual cup leaks.  This reader was discouraged from using her menstrual cup because she was experiencing frequent leaks, particularly when she wore her cup on the heaviest days of her period.  The potential for leaks is one of the main deterrents from trying a menstrual cup.  However, during my experience I’ve found leaks to be very uncommon, provided that you’ve chosen the correct cup for your body and you’ve inserted it correctly.  To help you out if you’re experiencing leaks with your cup, I’ve created a little troubleshooting guide for you to run through.

 

Are you sure your cup is actually leaking?

I’ve had moments when I’ve thought that my menstrual cup has leaked, but it was a false alarm.  Sometimes, if you’ve removed the cup, emptied it, and then reinserted it, or if you’ve inserted the cup after a period of not wearing it, there can be traces of blood left on the walls of the vagina that wind up on the outside of the cup after it’s inserted.  If this is the case, you might get a small amount of blood in your underwear even though you’re wearing the cup.  If you notice a little bit of blood on your underwear, this is probably what’s happened.  However, if there is a lot of blood or the amount of blood increases throughout the day, you might have a leak that needs to be addressed.

 

Has your cup opened fully after you’ve inserted it?

One of the main reasons a cup will leak is that it is not inserted properly.  If the cup hasn’t popped open fully after insertion, it won’t create the seal it needs to work effectively.

 

If you’re not certain if your cup is properly opened, it’s very easy to check.  Once you’ve inserted the cup, insert a finger into your vagina alongside the cup.  Gently feel all the way around the cup.  If it is open, it should feel smooth and round.  If you feel any puckers, folds or dips, then the cup has not opened up fully.

 

Another way to check is to very gently pull on the base of the cup, being careful not to pinch the cup (which will break the seal).  If there is resistance, then the cup is properly sealed in position.  If you can easily move the cup, then it’s not properly inserted and you need to take it out and try again.

 

There are certain cup folds that make it easier for your cup to pop open.  Every body is different and some people find that certain folds work best with their bodies.  I personally find that the often-used C-fold makes it harder for my cup to pop open.  I have three favourite folds that work best for me:

The Punch Down fold is achieved by pushing one edge of the cup down inside the cup and then pinching the two edges closed to hold the punched-down edge inside.  This fold pops open the most easily once inserted.

The 7 fold is where you flatten the cup and fold one of the upper corners down diagonally to meet the opposite lower corner.

The Labia or Diamond fold is achieved by taking hold of the rim on one side and bending it to meet the lower edge of the cup.  Then pinch the two outer corners of the cup to fold the cup in half vertically.  This one is a tricky fold to master, but it’s one of the best because it gives you a really narrow width to insert.

 

Both the Labia and 7 folds have the added advantage of having the rim of the cup folded downwards.  This makes it really easy to feel if the cup hasn’t opened, because you’ll feel that ridge with your finger.  And if it hasn’t opened, you can just nudge that rim up with your finger to open the cup.

 

This fantastic video gives really clear instructions to help you find a fold that works for you.

 

 

 

Is your cervix inside your cup once it’s inserted?

Your cervix is the point where your vagina opens into your uterus. It’s the opening where menstrual blood comes out during your period. In order for the cup to catch all your menstrual fluid, your cervix must be contained completely within the cup.  Before you insert your cup, it’s worthwhile checking the position of your cervix.  To do this, insert a finger into your vagina and feel for the top of your vagina.  Your cervix feels like a little dimple, and has some resistance to it.  Feel for something that has roughly the same resistance as the tip of your nose. This is your cervix.

 

You might notice that your cervix is off to one side, or tilted back rather than dead centre.  That’s ok and totally normal.  But you will need to take this into account and angle your cup accordingly to make sure that your cervix is inside the cup once it’s inserted.

Is your cup large enough for your body?

Most menstrual cup brands make their cups in two different sizes.  This is done to accommodate variations in cervix size and vaginal depth.  Generally, it’s advisable to purchase the larger of the two sizes if you have given birth.  The reason for this is that after giving birth, the cervix tends to be softer and wider, and the vaginal canal may also be wider.  This is true even if you didn’t have a vaginal birth, because the muscle contractions experienced during labour still dilate the cervix, even you didn’t end up pushing a baby through that opening.

 

Even if you haven’t given birth you may want to try a larger sized cup.  This will help you to make sure that your cervix is fully contained inside the cup. Additionally, if you know that you have a heavier flow, a larger cup will accommodate that and make leaks less likely.

 

Is your cup firm enough for your body?

One thing a lot of people don’t really consider when shopping for a menstrual cup is how firm the cup is.  Although all cups are made of silicone, silicone can range in texture from very soft to quite rigid, and cups come in a variety of levels of firmness.  Many people prefer to buy a softer cup, because they believe it will be the most comfortable, but softer cups can be tricky to insert as well as being more prone to leaks.

 

If you have strong pelvic floor muscles, it’s really important that you choose a firmer cup to avoid leaks.  During activities where your pelvic floor is engaged, such as during yoga, pilates, weightlifting or using the bathroom, your kegel muscles can squeeze your cup.  If the cup is too soft, this squeezing might break the seal of the cup, and cause a leak.  So if you know you have strong kegels, or you are very active and enjoy sports like yoga or pilates, a firmer cup might be a good choice.

 

It can be tricky to know how firm a cup is without feeling it.  This is especially hard when you’re shopping online for cups.  Luckily, the awesome folks at Put a Cup in It have created this fantastic table comparing the firmness of most of the popular cup brands.

 

 

Have you left the cup in for too long?

It’s perfectly safe to leave a menstrual cup in for up to eight hours.  However, if you know that your flow is on the heavy side, you’re going to want to empty it much more frequently than that.  Once you use your cup more, you’ll get to know how often you need to empty it in order to prevent leaks.  But if you are leaking, then you might want to try emptying your cup more often.

 

Hopefully once you’ve run through all these tips, you’ll be able to put a stop to menstrual cup leaks.  If you choose the right cup and use it correctly, leaks are very rare.

 

Do you have any further menstrual cup questions that you’d like answered?  If you do, leave a comment down below.  Also, if you have any other tips for preventing leaks, I’d love to hear them.

 

What I wore: Benalla Shorts film festival.

I feel very blessed to be from Benalla.  Even though it’s such a small town, we have a lot going for us.  There’s the yearly Wall to Wall street art festival, a huge number of amazing cafes and restaurants, gorgeous picnic spots and the mural.  A relatively new event that’s sprung up is the Benalla Shorts film festival, which showcases short films made by local and national film makers. This year I scored tickets to the event and frocked up to attend.

 

I was very unsure about what to wear.  I wanted to be dressed up, but not over the top.  It was also absolutely stinking hot the day of the festival so I needed something that would be cool and comfortable.  So I opted for billowy, printed trousers and monochrome accessories.

 

 

I am wearing:

  • Black and white silk trousers (thrifted)
  • Black tank top from Uniqlo
  • Black patent heels from Nine West
  • Leopard print fascinator from Dangerfield
  • Art deco locket (thrifted)
  • Cubic zirconia earrings (belonged to my Nana)

 

 This turned out to be the perfect outfit to wear to the film festival. I was so comfortable and I felt confident in my monochrome ensemble.  The fascinator was a fun touch, and added the perfect amount of whimsy to the whole outfit.  I feel like without it, I’d have looked a bit more casual and that’s not the vibe I was going for.

 

The festival itself was so much fun.  The winning film was called iRony, an animated take on how technology and social media is affecting our life in a negative way.  The most impressive thing about that film is that it was hand-animated, written, narrated and produced by one person….and he’s eighteen.  I was blown away by the sophistication of the film from such a young filmmaker.  I also voted for a film called Munchies, which was an adorable claymation feature about a farmer with a snail problem.

 

I feel that my black and white outfit was perfect for a cultured afternoon of short films.  I hit the mark and didn’t feel overdone or too casual, and I was truly confident in the way I looked.

Tying tubes and trying choices

This year I’ve given more thought to the subject of contraception than I have in the last decade of my life.  After twelve years of taking the oral contraceptive pill, I chose to have an IUD fitted in an effort to control my chronic migraines.  When my uterus rejected my IUD, I had to think carefully about what kind of contraceptive I would try next.  Although there are a multitude of contraceptive options available, my choices were severely limited.

The contraceptive pill was out, because although I knew it worked well for me, it definitely made my migraines more frequent.  There are a number of hormonal birth control methods, such as the Nuva Ring and The Patch which were also not appropriate for me because of my migraines.  I looked into the Depo-Provera injection but I didn’t want to have to have a shot every three months. I wasn’t keen to try another IUD and I wasn’t impressed with the failure rates of methods such as the diaphragm and cervical cap.  In the end I settled on an Implanon implant, because it was one of the few options available to me that was highly effective.

 

The effectiveness of each method was one of the most important factors to me when considering which kind of birth control to choose.  The reason for this is that I don’t want to have kids.  Not just now, but ever. During all this research and weighing of options, one other birth control method was on my mind- tubal ligation.  I thought long and hard about getting my tubes tied, and made the choice that if the Implanon didn’t work for me, then my next step would be pursing voluntary sterilisation.

pexels-photo-951233.jpeg

It’s really important for me to stop a moment and highlight just how much thought I gave to this choice.  This isn’t a snap decision I made on a whim.  I have known for a very long time that I don’t ever want to have children.  It’s a path I’m positive that I don’t want to walk.  For me, it’s not so much the fatigue from trying so many different contraceptive methods, but rather the fact that it seems futile to temporarily alter my fertility when I know for sure that I never want to become pregnant.  I don’t want to have children, and I would feel relieved if my body were no longer able to accidentally surprise me with one.

 

When I was rolling the idea of sterilisation around in my mind, I spoke to several friends about it.  Every one of them, at some point in our discussion said the exact same seven words…..”But, what if you change your mind?”

 

This gave me pause.  Each time I heard those seven words I felt frustrated, upset and invalidated.  I felt like nobody was hearing me.  That nobody understood the fact that I’ve made up my mind, that I definitely 100% do not want kids.  That they were all viewing me as some cold-hearted bitch whose biological clock was ticking like a time bomb, just waiting to blow my decision to remain childless to smithereens.

 

It occurred to me that when a person states that they want to have a surgical procedure to prevent them from having children, it is generally believed that they are making a mistake and that they will inevitably change their mind.  Conversely, when a person announces that they are planning on undergoing artificial insemination or IVF or another fertility treatment, nobody ever says “But what if you change your mind?  What if you don’t really want a baby?  What if you regret it?”.  And the reason for that is fairly simple.

 

Women are supposed to want to have babies.  That’s meant to be like an in-built factory setting.  Procreating is meant to be so deeply ingrained in our DNA that those who don’t want to breed are seen as strange, or wrong, or simply late-blooming.  Surely at some stage, that innate feminine urge to bear a child will overtake every woman.  Having a child is seen to be the right choice. And if that’s not the choice you’ve made, then it’s expected that eventually you’ll realise your mistake and change your mind.  Nobody questions the decision to have a child, because our culture says that having children is what you’re meant to do.  It’s the right choice, and deciding to remain childless is not.

 

One person said to me, “Imagine how horrible it would be if you decided that you wanted to have a baby, but you couldn’t because you’d had your tubes tied”.  I explained to them that this imaginary scenario didn’t worry me, because I am positive that it is only a remote possibility.  That I worry far more about the possibility of finding myself accidentally pregnant.  And they then said to me “But if you did get pregnant, once you got over the shock, you’d be excited about it”.  Again rears up the belief that pregnancy is so innately coveted that even if we think we don’t want it, if it happens we will be elated.  I couldn’t find the words to tell this person that finding myself pregnant by accident would be traumatic.  In this imaginary scenario, I feel as though my body has been hijacked, that I’m being driven by a spawn intent on pulling my world apart and destroying everything I want for myself.  I imagine being lost in the gaping maw of motherhood, pulled into a vortex that sucks me into a dimension I want no part of.  It feels wrong to express this kind of dramatic aversion to motherhood, because being a mother is supposed to be the right choice.  It’s meant to be what I want.  But I don’t.  In every corner of my being, I know it’s not what I want.

 

It’s also really important to note that there are plenty of women out there who have chosen to remain childless who have not regretted their decision.  So I don’t believe that having a baby is the right choice for everyone, nor do I buy into the idea of this mythical biological clock that is going to change my thinking.  And although our culture’s underlying ideal of motherhood is damaging in some ways, there is something that I find more upsetting.  And that’s the fact that when I wanted to talk about the idea of sterilisation, none of the people I talked to were willing to just accept my choice to remain childless.  Not one of them could respect the fact that I  know my own mind and each one had to undermine my autonomy with those seven little words.  I know that none of these people meant to show disrespect or to upset me, but it’s hard not to feel judged when your decisions are being questioned and undermined.

 

These past few weeks have brought up a lot of fear and anxiety that I hadn’t felt in a while.  I’ve had to confront a lot of shame and feeling like I’m broken because I don’t want the thing that all women are supposed to crave.  That the ‘right choice” of having a child feels deeply wrong to me.  And feeling judged by people around me for not pursing the path of motherhood.  But ultimately I’ve had to put on my big girl trousers and realise that I have to make these choices for me.  I can’t live my life a certain way just because it’s what you’re “supposed” to do.  I have to do what’s right for me, because I’m the one who knows what’s best for my life. And having a child isn’t the right choice for me.

Product review: Wevibe Rave

If one was to make a list of the sexiest words you could think of, do you think “ergonomic” would make the list?  Nope.  It definitely wouldn’t.  It would be lingering around the bottom with words like “durable” and “flannelette”.  And yet, ergonomics is actually super important when it comes to sex toys.  A toy that is easy to hold and manoeuvre is vital if you have limited mobility, difficulty with grip or struggle with stamina.  In addition to just being easier to use, ergonomic toys that are designed to fit your anatomy will have a much better chance of hitting all the right spots.  And so I come to the Wevibe Rave: an ergonomic toy that works like a dream.

Wevibe seem to be well aware that “ergonomic” isn’t an exciting word, so instead they’ve opted to use the term “Sensually Sculpted” on the packaging. But what it all boils down to is the fact that the shape of this toy is just made to fit in your hand, find your pleasure buttons and work them with ease.

So what makes the shape of this toy so darn pleasing?  Well, let’s begin by looking at the curve of the Rave.  The shaft of the toy has a gentle swoop, so it resembles a boomerang.  That bend means that when inserted into a vagina, the head of the toy is already perfectly positioned against the front wall of the vagina, which is where the g-spot is located.  Many people find that the g-spot responds best to repetitive pressure rather than thrusting, so the curve of this toy provides excellent leverage for rocking the head against your g-spot.  The handle fits easily into your hand, and you need very little effort to create the perfect rocking motion.  This is great news for people with arthritis, wrist issues or limited upper body mobility.

The curve also has a second benefit.  Although the Rave is intended to be used as a g-spot vibrator, it also works as an external vibrator.  When facing downwards, the curve lines the toy up with your genitals so you’re not having to twist around to try to find the right spot.


The Rave is assymetrical, and the shaft has one side that is somewhat flat, rising up to a bulge on one side.  I was very unsure of this shape when I saw it, but in practice it’s unlike anything I’ve tried.  As I mentioned before, the Rave works beautifully when rocked against the g-spot, but it can also be twisted to create a massaging sensation.  It took me a while to get the hang of it, because it’s not really a natural instinct to twist something inside your vagina but it blew my mind.  It’s like a firm massage of the g-spot, rather than a frantic pounding.  It’s a new sensation for me and one that I love.

The asymmetric head also makes the Rave a great external vibrator, because it gives you lots of different surfaces to play with.  If you prefer a wide area of stimulation, you can lay the head of the vibe against your clitoris.  For more pinpointed precision, use the edge of the head to send vibration exactly where you want it.  I love the versatility this offers, and the fact that this shape makes the Rave suitable for a wide range of bodies and preferences.

When it comes to vibrations, the Rave offers top notch quality.  Deep, rumbly and penetrating vibrations make this toy a winner.  For me personally, my clitoris will tolerate buzzy vibes, but much prefers a rumble.  But my g-spot simply will not put up with buzzy vibrations.  It must be rumbly or my g-spot cracks a tantrum and refuses to play.  The beautifully deep vibrations of this toy make my g-spot sing.  It is also very quiet, which is unusual for such a powerful toy.

There are a couple of things that I wasn’t thrilled about with this toy.  The first one was the controls.  The Rave has three buttons on the handle: a + to turn the intensity up, a – to turn it down and a centre button to cycle through the patterns and turn the toy on and off.  However, the buttons are set right into the silicone and it’s not obvious by touch where they are.  You also have to press the buttons very firmly before they’ll respond.  On one hand, this is a good thing because it reduces the chance of inadvertently pressing the wrong button at a crucial moment.  On the other, it means that it can be frustrating to control and may pose difficulties for people with limited dexterity.

 

One way that you can get around this difficulty is by using the We-Connect app.  The app allows you to easily swipe through the different modes and increase or decrease the vibrations with a tap of a finger.  It does bother me a little that I had to use my cell phone to control my gorgeous toy, but the app does make the Rave easier to use.

 

The We-Connect app also offers an option for long-distance play with a partner.  Your partner can use their phone to control your vibrator from anywhere in the world….or at least that’s the theory.  The app easily loses connectivity in the long-distance mode, and doesn’t actually give you a warning that it’s no longer connected.  So your partner will think that they’re still controlling the toy, while you’re lying there wondering why you’ve been stuck on the same setting for five minutes.  The tagline of the app is “the app that brings couples together”, but my boyfriend and I spent most of our sexy long-distance sessions yelling at our phones and frantically texting “is it working now?” over and over. After I had such a roaring success with the Lovesense Lush, I was thoroughly disappointed that the long-distance setting on the We-Connect app wasn’t up to snuff.

Other than those two hiccups, I was really impressed with the Rave.  It has a couple of other features that I adore, such as a low-power warning and 100% body safe silicone that is soft and velvety. Overall I think the We-Vibe Rave is an excellent all-round vibrator.  It’s shape makes it extremely versatile and opens the door for inventive play.  The ergonomic design is fantastic and the vibration quality and range gives you heaps of variety to experiment with.  I adore this toy and it’s quickly become one of my nightstand favourites.